Sure, the real success stories we hear about would not be where they are today without being an honest representation of themselves. However, this podcast is going to detail the real attributes that set these people apart.
Tune in this week to discover the benefits of showing up as your authentic self in your relationships, business, and everything that you do. I’m diving deep into what this really looks like and preparing you for some of the hard times that you will have to face when you carry yourself this way. It’s not going to be easy, but nothing worth having ever is.
Welcome to Love Your Living, a podcast for ambitious women who choose to have it all. Learn how to achieve the massive success you’ve been dreaming of in your business and your personal life. Here’s your host, multiple six-figure business owner and a life stylist, Brooke Keeling.
Hello, hello and welcome to this week’s episode of the Love Your Living podcast, where we get real; real in talking about ambition and growth and the reality of it. So today, I’m talking on a topic that I’m sure many of you have heard and that is being your authentic self.
What the fuck does that mean? I mean, really, is anyone else completely over-hearing be your authentic self? Be your authentic self and your business will thrive. Be your authentic self and you will have more money than you could ever dream of. Be your authentic self and you will meet the partner of your dreams; you’ll be happy – and on and on and on.
My hand is raised and my hand is not raised because I don’t believe in this concept because I truly do, but rather how it is being used everywhere and this notion that it’s just easy; easy to know and to just be your authentic self. You know, like just be your authentic self and life is whimsical. You’ll love your life, your career, everything is just better and good all the time.
Guess what – it’s not that easy. You’d think it would be, but sometimes, it’s not. It’s hard at times to be your true authentic self. Why? Well, usually because we have been conditioned our entire lives to think, act, be a certain way. So when we get to this point of just be your authentic self, it’s a whole new journey of self-discovery, finding self-confidence and really getting in-tune and exploring who you are and who you want to be; not anyone else.
Loving and living your true authentic self is doing you, but what comes up when we start to really allow our true self to be seen is judgment, fear of not being accepted, fear of failure, feeling alone, questioning our self-worth, not fitting in, not being understood.
There’s so much that goes into this because of the conditioning. We have to go backwards and reset ourselves. And that’s the fun of it, but oftentimes, when we start to go through this journey, we start to seek outwardly. So you start to see other people and you think, “Ooh, that seems authentic, I should do that. I like this…” It doesn’t happen overnight and you have to get really clear in you.
There is so much magic. I truly believe that there is so much magic in showing up and being seen, having confidence in who you are, knowing what your mission and your purpose is in life, that you have a uniquely special gift that was meant to be shared with the world. And when you step into that space, life is better. Life is great.
You’re aligning with your true self, with your north star; you’re getting in the flow. It’s happier and more fulfilling, but again, that doesn’t mean that it’s easy. When you start stepping out of your comfort zone in allowing yourself to have a voice, some people may not like that. Some people may encourage you to tone it down a bit, encourage you to fit in, encourage you to play by their rules, question you, question your decisions.
You see this all the time. I see it a lot in relationships, marriages, a lot of marriages that fail. When you’re trying to change someone or when someone that you love deeply and that’s your partner in life isn’t accepting you as you truly are and you’re trying to fit this mold, it’s hard. When you’re in this space, it will come right back to you and you will start to question your decisions.
Are they right? What if? What if I put myself out there and no one likes me? What if I make my spouse mad and they don’t love me anymore? What if they are right and that’s just too much for me to take on? I can’t deal with that. What if I fail? What if people are mean to me? What if I lose all my friends? What if I make a scene?
Guess what – all of the above could happen. In fact, it’s likely that they all will happen. You will piss people off. You will have people that don’t agree with you and are very opinionated on that. When you start to speak out more and create more noise, you’re going to get more of that back. You will fail. There will be people that won’t like you or your message.
And you know what – that’s okay. This just allows us to get even more aligned with the people that do matter, the people that we do want in our lives that are going to fulfill us and support us going on this journey, the people that you can create a real and lasting relationship with, the people you can be real with, align with, not this fluffy shit to keep the peace, to act and look a certain way, to fit in.
Fuck that; that is not a relationship and you deserve way more than that. you have to have courage, courage to tune out the noise outside and the noise inside and have faith in yourself. Know that whatever it is that you are longing for in your life, it’s possible. So many of the people that I have met in my life that have inspired me, that I’ve looked up to and admired, I look at them and I say, “Man, why are they so successful and what makes them so different? What makes them so great?”
And the secret is they are marching to their own drum, regardless of my opinion of them or agreeing with them. Sometimes I don’t agree with them. Sometimes I have a very different opinion, but I respect them and they respect the fact that I might have a different opinion. I can be real with them. They are putting themselves out there; their real authentic selves.
And guess what – it has taken them years to be in that place, to get in that place, years of slowly building confidence and tuning into what is and was important to them, years of letting go of judgment, time working through their own insecurities, facing their insecurities, working through them and releasing them. And to be honest, those weaknesses and struggles and insecurities that they were brave enough to face are the exact reasons why they are so great at what they are doing.
We all have insecurities. We must acknowledge them and get real with ourselves so that we can grow from them. It’s incredible. We all want to be seen as this perfect thing, being, and accepted. And as a result, a lot of times we are hiding those things that are going to allow us to shine and fear that we might be rejected, judged, not liked, that we might fail.
Being your authentic self is not going to just miraculously bring you everything you want in life. Doing all the things you love and only the things you love while being your authentic self, yeah, it’s probably going to put you on the streets. You also have to do the work.
Yes, there’s power in being real, but let’s really be real. You have to show up as you for real. Stop hiding behind your “real” perfect little social media posts. You are only fooling yourself. Be brave enough to show up every day and make some noise.
When Tory Burch first set out in her now empire, her mother gave her that advice; negativity is noise. Stand up for what you believe in, even if you’re the only one around you with that opinion. I have found so much powerful conversation in doing this. You have to be open to the journey because finding yourself doesn’t always happen overnight.
I have learned to embrace this and I found so much fun in trying new things, saying yes to new things, exploring new opportunities, finding what makes me happy, what makes me thrive, letting go of my old patterns and conditioned habits, and saying yes; yes to many of the things that I said no to for so many years, said no to because someone in my life thought it was a bad idea.
Invest in yourself. Learn and grow and work on your skills. It’s necessary. Being your authentic self isn’t enough. You have to do the work. Being my authentic self isn’t going to just put a million dollars in my bank account. It’s not; I’m sorry. You have to do the work. You have to do the things that maybe you don’t like sometimes and that don’t feel all woo-woo and great. Do it anyway.
And stop giving a fuck about what people think about you. Someone else’s opinion of you is not your business. I have two incredible women that come to mind when thinking on this topic. Both couldn’t give a shit what someone thinks about them. They stand out in each of their industries and careers, and believe me, I mean really stand out.
They were the ones labeled not to succeed. Two very different industries as well; night and day difference – two incredible women that are leaders in their industries. They are seeked out in their industries. They do things very unconventional in regards to others in their industries. They don’t fit the norm, they give no fucks. Both also got to this place by a struggle in their own life and, through that, are committed to giving that knowledge to others that may find help in what they are teaching or what they’ve learned over the years.
They work incredibly hard. It’s the piece of the puzzle that I think a lot of the people are missing, you know. We get into yoga and we get into being our true authentic self and then all of a sudden, the actual accountability and the drive and the work goes out the window because it feels hard, “I just don’t feel like it. I’m going to listen to my body. Let me do a body scan and see if I should make these calls today.”
Yep, you should make them. You have to do the work. These two women, they show up. They talk their talk, walk their walk, they show up every day as themselves, as their authentic selves and they truly know that whatever problem someone has with them, that’s not a problem with them, it’s really an insecurity of that person.
The best advice that I got from one of them on taking this journey, starting this journey and really stepping into who you truly are and your authentic self is, “What helped me is I stopped spending time wondering what other people think or if they’re judging me. What helps me is to go ahead and count on it. People judge, they do, and so what?
They aren’t sleeping in my bed or helping me pay my kid’s college tuition, so they don’t get a seat on my bus.” More than anything, when you step into this pace and start seeking out who you truly are and what you want and stepping into your true authenticity, yes, it takes time. It’s work, it’s fun work.
And it might be hard at times and you might feel left out at times, but the more you do it every day, baby-steps every single day, you will begin to believe in yourself. You will begin to align with the people that you want to align with based on who you are at the core. It’s powerful.
So stay the course. Be you. The world needs you. I really do believe that everybody is here, everybody has this light. Let that light shine. A friend of mine just had a post recently that said highlight yourself. Highlight yourself; don’t try to fit in. why fit in when you were meant to stand out?
I hope you guys got a lot out of this. My wish for you is that you start taking those baby-steps in that direction of who you are and loving yourself and being authentic, because life truly is better when you are being true to you and you are being real. So much comes into your life that’s positive, your love is stronger and you’re happier.
But being your true authentic self in any business, especially in a business-related sense, you have to do the work too. So I hope you got some good tidbits from this. I hope you all have a great week. I love being here with you each week. I thank you so much fortuning in and being here with me and your feedback.
And look, you guys, I love hearing your feedback. It helps me grow and it also helps other women find the show. So if you have a couple of minutes to spare – I know I ask you this each week – please go to loveyourlivingonline.com/itunes, if you haven’t already, for directions on how you can review the show. Many, many thanks. It will take you a couple of minutes.
I greatly appreciate all of you. Have an incredible week and we’ll see you next week.
Thanks for showing up and listening to this week’s episode of Love Your Living. If you’re ready to create a business and life you love, or simply take your already pretty incredible life to the next level, head over to loveyourlivingonline.com/balance to download our five-step guide creating more balance in your life.