This week, I’m covering a topic that hit me hard the past few days after, frankly, an exhausting weekend. I was feeling foggy, uninspired, and emotionally and physically drained. On the surface, it felt like everything was bullshit and I just needed to take some time for myself. But it’s never that simple, is it?
Welcome to Love Your Living, a podcast for ambitious women who choose to have it all. Learn how to achieve the massive success you’ve been dreaming of in your business and your personal life. Here’s your host, multiple six-figure business owner and a life stylist, Brooke Keeling.
Hello, hello and welcome to the Love Your Living podcast, where we talk about goals and ambition and the reality of it. Today, I’m talking about a topic that I used to struggle with more often than not, but I still have those days, like, I think everybody else has those days.
So what do you do – what do I do – when I have one of those days where I don’t want to do anything? I’m just tired. I’m depleted. I’m not inspired. I just don’t want to do anything.
This past week for me started in a bit of a fog, which prompted this question – what do you do when you don’t feel inspired? What do you do when you don’t want to do anything at all? I was emotionally and physically drained coming off of a long weekend trip.
The weekend, right, I was giving myself all of this shit because I was like, it was just the weekend. You had a long weekend away; you should be full of energy, but I wasn’t. I happened to be away with a group of people. I’m an empath and an introvert, so those two things combined with a dynamic group for four full days left me needing a bit of a recharge.
But guess what – I had shit to do. I have a business to run, a toddler to chase after, dogs to manage, a bunny to clean up a cage after I’d been gone for four days. I had a lot to do; a lot on my list. So I had to really prop myself, like, okay what’s going on here?
And here’s what I did; first of all, I’ve learned that you need to listen to your body. I’m a pusher. I push through a lot of shit and sometimes that’s not in my benefit. So I really try now, more than anything, to give myself grace to feel what I need to feel without judgment.
I took a realistic look at what my goals were for the week, what my schedule looked like for the week. If you don’t have goals, you need them exactly for this reason, so that you can put key metrics in place and really get clear on what’s a must and what maybe can wait until next week.
I figured out what was really a key priority for the days ahead and I started small. What were my musts? How could I make them for fun and less exhausting? For me, that was a couple of time-blocked times where I was doing work from my favorite chair in my PJs in the comfort of my own home. And I got so much more done doing that than trying to sit at my desk and just push things out.
I may have skipped a couple of early morning workout sessions, which for me, is a really fine line because I need them. I need my workouts to survive. They’re like my anti-anxiety anti-overwhelm, my clarity for my mind. That’s when I get a lot of great ideas an inspiration, so I do need them in my life.
So I really have to challenge myself on do I need a break or is working out actually the best thing for me? This week, I decided I needed a break. And usually, when I can tell if that was the right decision is if I’m not regretting it afterwards.
I got really clear on what I needed. I felt depleted. I felt tired. So one of the things that I made sure I did right away was I went grocery shopping for healthy foods in the house. I made sure that I was filling up on water, because a lot of times, when we feel tired or lethargic or a loss of energy, it’s not a caffeine rush that we need, it’s water; we’re dehydrated.
So I made sure I was drinking a lot of water. I made sure I was going to bed at a decent time and I was getting good rest. But that wasn’t the only thing that I was feeling depleted on. I was also feeling really depleted on energy. Emotionally, I was very depleted, especially after the weekend that I came off of.
So I try so much all of the time, my mind just like never really stops and I try to give a lot, even in my workspace leading my team, here to you guys, to my life, to my family. I’m always trying to give some inspiration and feel inspired. But I felt really weak and I felt depleted.
And I came across this really great article by Marie Forleo at this exact time and it really hit home with me. She said in this phrase, “Don’t wait for inspiration. You have to keep yourself fueled.” Many times, people confuse inspiration with productivity and they use education for being stuck. Use education as a tool. You need to fuel up.
So if you’re feeling depleted, you need to fuel up. So I spent some time going back through – I always have podcasts and blogs and articles that I star; I save for a time when I have more time. So I decided this is a day that rather than push things out and push through all of this, I need to fuel up.
My friends, this is where the magic happens, by listening to your body and giving yourself what you need. My week started feeling foggy; a loss for why I was doing what I was doing. Maybe a little bit of defeat, overwhelm, exhaustion, uninspired, all of those blah feelings, all of those downer feelings.
When I tuned in and I got clear on what I needed, the universe delivered and it was fucking powerful. Slowly, as the fog started to lift off of my own haze, I saw the light and the light was so bright and so freaking powerful. I had one sign after another present itself, reminding me that this is your path, this is what all the work is for.
It’s bigger than you; don’t let anyone dim your light. I got filled up by some incredible messages and people. This week was full of power; strong women with strong beliefs living big, spreading that love of empowerment, which is exactly what I needed.
From there, there were some incredible takeaways for myself from these women. And oddly enough, like, this is everything that happened this week. Beyoncé’s Vogue article came out this past week. And if you haven’t read it, it is amazing. Serena Williams, she was featured in InStyle as the number one badass in their badass edition. My discovery of Iris Apfel – oh my god, what an incredible woman.
And, of course, finishing off the week with Beyoncé in concert. What a fucking turnaround just by tuning in and listening and allowing myself to receive the messages and the energy that I needed.
So let me just share some of this love. I can’t share it all with you. You can check out all the articles on your own, but I’m just going to share some of my favorite takeaways that I got from these incredible women.
Beyoncé – if you haven’t seen her September article in Vogue, get yourself a copy of the Vogue magazine coming out, or you can go online and check it out. She talks about her journey and that there’s shades in every journey. Nothing is black and white. She’s been through hell and back and grateful for every scar, grateful for the betrayals, the heartbreaks in many forms, disappointments, business partnerships gone bad, feeling neglected, feeling lost, feeling vulnerable.
“Through it all, I have learned to laugh and cry and grow. I look at the woman I was in my 20s and I see a young lady growing into confidence but intent on pleasing everyone around her, like so many women are. I now feel so much more beautiful, so much sexier, so much more interesting and so much more powerful.”
Amazing, that’s amazing. Her freedom – she said, “If I’m not happy, if I’m not growing. I’m not happy if I’m not improving, evolving, moving forward, inspiring, teaching, and learning.” It’s one of our six human needs; growing, getting better, being the best version of our self.
If you follow me on social media or in my blog, you’ll hear it a bazillion times, but what makes Beyoncé so great, what makes Tony Robbins so great, these people don’t stop. What makes Serena Williams so great? She fucking trains every single day. Why I spend thousands of dollars on Beyoncé tickets even though I’ve seen her three times in concert and I swear I’ll never miss her again, because every single time I see her in concert, it’s better than the last performance.
She gets better. She evolves. She grows. She doesn’t just say I’m good enough, life is good enough; she keeps going. Legacy, one of my favorite words – in fact, a tattoo that I will be getting soon and I will fully let everyone know. She says, “My mother taught me the importance of not just being seen but of seeing myself. As the mother of two girls, it’s important to me that they see themselves too; they see themselves in books, films, and on runways. It’s important to me that they see themselves as CEOs, as bosses and that they know that they can write the script for their own lives, that they can speak their minds and that they have no ceiling. They don’t have to be a certain type of fit into a specific category. They don’t have to be politically correct, as long as they’re authentic, respectful, compassionate and empathetic. They can explore any religion, fall in love with any race and love who they want to love.”
Incredible message that I’m taking away for myself for my own daughter – what an incredible woman, sharing her light with the world. Serena Williams – I just happened to stumble across another edition of Serena Williams on the cover of InStyle magazine, the Badass Women Edition.
She’s asked in her interview, “You’re the first cover of the Badass Issue; what are your tips for being a badass woman?” Her response is, “You have to be confident. Someone who’s a badass is incredibly confident and unapologetic about herself and she doesn’t care what anyone else says, but in a positive, not negative, way. It’s more like standing up for yourself and others.”
She was asked, “When is the first time you remember being unapologetic?” She said, “That’s a good question; I don’t know. It took me a while because I faced so much criticism. Whether it was about my body or something else, it was always something. I always felt like I had to be softer or apologize, kind of indirectly, for who I am. And I don’t know when it happened, but something changed. I just became who I am and realized there’s nothing wrong with me. I understand who I am. I’m the most impatient person. I’m like, now, now, now, now, now, so I know there’s some room for improvement.”
Incredible – all of these women that have broke through these barriers and stepped into their own greatness have all had to go through the same issues, the same self-confidence, growing their confidence, growing their voice, being seen. We all have to go through it to evolve into who we are. It’s a process. It’s just not given to you one day.
And then, one of my favorite finds of this week, oh my gosh, Iris Apfel. This is just a crazy story because I have the biggest vision board in front of my computer on my wall. It’s literally the wall in my office and it’s beautiful, it’s amazing. It’s my dreams, it’s my life, it’s already done, it’s accomplished. It’s just there for me to see every day.
I have this picture that is right above my computer screen and it’s a kooky old woman in a white jumpsuit with six-inch heels, sparkly pointy toes, big round glasses, and a faux fur around her neck, and it says, “Come as you are.”
It was an advertisement in one of my Architectural Digest magazines and I loved her in that picture. She’s smiling, she’s happy. You can tell, she’s just her; she’s just living her life to the fullest. She doesn’t give a fuck about what anybody thinks about her. She’s 90 years old and who cares?
She’s laughing, she’s happy, come as you are. I loved that feeling that I got. And ironically enough, Reese will come in, my daughter will come into my office and so many times, she’s looked up at the picture, she’s pointed and she’s said momma. Now, I have super-blonde hair, but it’s not white. But I’m like, you know what, she’s 90 years old, I could take that as being a little bit bitter about it, but I don’t. I take it as a compliment. I’m like, yeah, she’s fucking badass.
And then, I come across this woman this week. It was fate. Literally, it was fate. It was all of these different points that I’ve aligned and I’ve connected the dots and I’m like, this was meant to be. There was a message here that I was meant to hear and feel and know and this week has been powerful, from a foggy haze to this.
So I realized that that woman on my vision board that’s been there for six plus months is Iris Apfel, who I’m absolutely obsessed with. She’s a fashion designer, clothing designer. She’s a design icon and she’s an incredible woman, especially for growing up in her era, standing up, speaking her mind.
She has 10 life lessons. If you read my blogs, you read it this past Sunday, but a few of my favorite takeaways on how incredible I think she is. One of them is, “When something excites you, go for it. I never expected people to know my name or recognize my face. I never expected to be called a fashion icon. I never expected museums to exhibit my clothing and accessories. I never expected to be a cover girl or the face of a cosmetics company in my 90s. I never expected anything; I just feel things in my gut and I do them. If something sounds exciting and interesting, I do it, and then I worry about it later. Doing new things takes a lot of energy and strength. It’s very tiring to make things happen, to learn how to master a skill, to push fears aside. Most people would rather just go with the flow. It’s much easier, but it’s not very interesting.”
On your opinions, especially as a woman, a big takeaway for many women, “Care about your opinion above anyone else’s. I never tried to fit in. It’s not that I went out of my way to be a rebel or to do things that were not socially acceptable. Unfortunately, I did have to learn how to play bridge when I was younger, but I learned early on that I have to be my own person to be content. If you have to be all things to all people, you end up being nothing to nobody. The way I dress may be different or eccentric to some who feel the need to label, but that’s of no concern to me. I don’t dress to be stared at, I dress for myself. When you don’t dress like everyone else, you don’t have to think like everyone else.”
And following this one, another lesson is, “To not isolate yourself. Here’s the critical part; I know I’m not on an island but rather part of the main. I fit in, but in my way. I have never been much of a conformist on any front actually and it hasn’t hurt me yet in my 90-some years. So I think I’ve been doing something right, but if you don’t try to be part of things, forget it. That’s when your originality is going to work against you. Fit in first and then step out. There is a difference between being perceived as an original and being accepted, even loved for it and being perceived as different and being resented for it. You can have your cake and eat it too.”
And, of course, because I’ll give you one more, “Money doesn’t buy success. We know this. If you’re happy, have found love, are surrounded by good people, doing what you like, and giving back to others, that’s success. Selling your soul for a buck is not worth the real price you pay, not to me, anyway,” she says.
Her whole concept – and just so you know also, I have a big mural of her face that will be added to my office hopefully next week – that’s how in love I am with this woman. Her motto, which I’ve been obsessed with lately as well, “More is more.” I love more is more. More is more, there’s nothing to be sorry about wanting more in life ever. “More is more, less is a bore.” That’s Iris. What an incredible woman.
These women are changing our history. The one thing in common with all of them is that they have this love for growth, for challenge, living the best version of themselves and relentless on that journey. More is more, less is a bore. They don’t stop. Get it in life, that’s it. Stand up for yourself, for what you believe in, for your dreams.
Take risks. Say yes to what feels good, to what lights you up, and do the work. Every day, show up, do the work. You have to train for life. You have to train for greatness. Put in the work.
I truly believe that all of this fell into place for a reason, for a message, to inspire me to keep going, to find clarity. See how powerful these incredible women are, the difference they’re making in our world because they are brave enough to do what hasn’t been done, to follow their dreams when people have said no, it can’t be done.
Beyoncé quotes in her article that 21 years ago, they said to her, black women are not on the cover of a magazine, black people don’t sell. Clearly that wasn’t true, she said, because just this year, she is a black woman, powerful woman, one of the most powerful women, on the cover of Vogue controlling her shoot and also having the first black photographer film her and shoot her. That’s power, my friends. How incredible.
The difference that they are making in our world because they are brave, they’re doing it when they say it can’t be done. They’re defying the odds. They have the strength and the courage to be themselves and keep going when it gets hard. Get back up and learn from failure. Get back up, when they’re hurt, they shed light on this journey. It’s a journey.
They’ve all endured pain. We all endure pain, failure, heartbreak, but they did not let it define them. Thank you; that’s all I have to say. I hope they’ve inspired you. I hope this podcast has inspired you just a little bit this week. I’m still on fire, but this is what you need to do.
When you don’t feel like doing anything, listen to your body. Figure out what it is that you need. Give yourself some grace. Don’t judge your feelings; acknowledge them and fill up on whatever it is that you need to be filled up on. Maybe it’s rest, maybe it’s inspiration. Whatever it is, fill up, and this is the kind of shit that happens. I hope you all have an incredible week. Go set this world on fire. We’ll see y’all next week.
Thanks for showing up and listening to this week’s episode of Love Your Living. If you’re ready to create a business and life you love, or simply take your already pretty incredible life to the next level, head over to loveyourlivingonline.com/balance to download our five-step guide creating more balance in your life.