There will always be people in our lives who think we should be spending more of our days with our families and dedicating more of our time to being the perfect homemaker, or whatever. That’s all a crock of bullshit.
Tune in to this week’s podcast and discover why it’s okay to work your ass off in the pursuit of your goals, and why comparing the way you work to other people is not helping you one bit. If you peel back the layers, there’s always more to the glitz and glamour that we see on Instagram and the bestselling authors who seem to come out of nowhere.
Want to have it all? Well, the best day to get started is TODAY. Welcome to Love Your Living, a podcast for ambitious women who want to take their life and business to a WHOLE new level of success. I’m Brooke Keeling, multiple six-figure business owner, passionate entrepreneur and your host.
Welcome to another episode of the Love Your Living podcast…
Hey everyone, and welcome to the Love Your Living podcast. I am Brooke Keeling, and I am so excited to be here with all of you today. I am talking about a topic that I feel like you will all very much appreciate.
So, today, I want to get really, really real with all of you. And if you follow me on Instagram, maybe you saw a little bit of this over the last couple of weeks. However, I want to dive deep into this, because as women especially, we like to please others. We like to compare and judge, and I don’t think that it is something that many of us are proud of or like, but it’s something that is naturally in our world at times.
And for those of you listening and that follow me, you likely have very big goals and very big dreams and you want to achieve more. This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart because it’s something that I’ve struggled with over the years and I’ve had to find my own way. I’ve gotten a lot of help. I’ve had coaches, I’ve had mentors around it.
I’ve felt like I was a failure at times or that something was wrong with me because I’ve liked to work or because I’ve wanted more, and that comes with this perception or feeling of being greedy or not being grateful or not giving enough to my family at times, or not living by other people’s rules of how they want your life to look, how your parents want your life to look, how your in-laws want your life to look, how they want the family interaction between all of them to look.
All of these things that we think about and we have to find our way through in order to get to the other side of our own life and living our own life on our own terms. And I just read a really powerful quote, for me at least, from a friend of mine who will be on the show here in a couple of weeks. And she is from – you’ve probably heard me talk about her before. Her name is Kara Loewentheil, and she’s a mindset coach.
She coaches on confidence and helping women overcome confidence issues and stepping into their truth. And one of the quotes that she put out recently that really resonated with me, especially on this topic is, “Everything I have created that I value came at the price of disappointing other people’s expectations of me.” How powerful is that?
Now, I feel like almost everybody that’s listening in can probably associate with that, can feel the depths of that. Everything that I’ve created that I value, that I actually like, that I value, came at the price of disappointing other people’s expectations of me. I just love this because it’s so true.
And so many of the things that I’ve created in my life and I’m stepping into this place of, I really love what I’m creating in my life, has come from disappointing other people’s expectations, other people’s expectations of what my family life looks like, expectations of how much time they get to spend with me, expectations of my schedule, expectations of how much I work or how much I don’t work, when I vacation, having weekends off, all of these things.
And as I’ve started to let go of this, the really incredible thing that has come into my life is people that really have that same struggle, for one, and also people that have overcome that struggle and are just soaking it in, soaking in the fact that they want more and there’s nothing wrong with it, soaking in the fact that they will never settle, that they always want to continue to grow, people that aren’t willing to work, that are willing to hustle and grind and do whatever is necessary for their dreams and for their life; those people.
And also, people that re, like I said, struggling with the same thing. It’s so interesting, just recently I had a call with my own mastermind group. And it’s a group of women that I put together this year that have goals of wanting to do something more, more in business, more in life. And I’m really proud of having this group to go to.
And what’s really cool is that they all have said recently, I feel like I have to not work as much because of other people’s feelings around my work, or, I feel – this isn’t something that I’m proud of, but I’m a workaholic. Those are actually real words that are said by these women, and we all feel the same way; this isn’t something I’m proud of, but I’m a workaholic. I like to work, I have a hard time checking out.
There was, a few years ago, when I went through this whole phase of my own and it all started with having an employee of mine that was really hard on how I did my business, how I ran my business, what my values were, and the fact that I worked a lot. And it really messed with me. I’m grateful for that person now, because what it’s allowed me to understand is, if you don’t like how I run my business, peace, there’s the door, that’s it. Seriously, that’s it.
And I don’t have any guilt or remorse around it, but in that phase of my business, I was just starting to really build my business up and scale and I was learning how to become a better leader and who I wanted to be associated with, what I wanted my business to look like, all of the things I was trying to work on at the same time.
And this was a big stressor for me, and this person saying you are so serious about work, you’re so serious about business, and there’s nothing else to any of this, it’s just, like, work, work, work, work. And I was like, god, something’s wrong with me. I need to find someone that can help me.
And I went on this endeavor of, like, trying to find myself and why do I have this problem with checking out on a weekend, why do I have this problem with days off, why is it so hard for me to enjoy my life What’s wrong with me? How do I fix this?
So, I went on this whole journey. I paid a lot of money for someone to help me understand what makes me happy again and what my passions were in life and find happiness, and it was all an incredible adventure and I’ve learned a ton from it. And some of the things, I don’t necessarily agree with, but I was able to put myself in that place to really understand what it is that I wanted in my life and what’s okay and what’s not okay.
And it’s taken me years to come to the place where I’m very happy with being me. And I’m very happy with saying, I want more. And I’m very happy in saying that I want to live this big life and I like to buy nice things and I like to wear nice clothes, and that’s okay.
I also really like the simple things in life. I like being at home with my family and doing absolutely nothing at times. I like going camping and having no makeup on for days and no shower other than the lake, whatever it may be. I like that side too. And there’s no right or wrong to any of it.
There’s no perfect balance. We’re all trying to create this work-life balance. You see this all the time. I’ve seen it over the last couple of years, and maybe it’s because I’ve been trying to chase it myself. But I truly do believe that it doesn’t exist. You find your own balance in life, and my balance is going to be very different than your balance, which is going to be very different from my mom’s balance, which is going to be very different from my sister’s balance.
And what’s so interesting about this topic is that, as I was on this whole road to finding balance and finding happiness again, it’s like, oh I have to be grateful for all of this and I can’t want too much more money because that would be greedy and I need to give it all away or I need to donate to charities – which I’m all about it. I’m all about giving back and supporting causes that you absolutely love. I think that’s a big part of growing and doing good in our world. However, there’s nothing wrong with making money.
There’s nothing wrong with having an incredible income coming in. there’s nothing wrong with however it is that you want to choose to live your life. There’s nothing wrong with it. And what’s so interesting is, all of these incredible coaches that I worked with and mentors that I worked with that I was like, man, their life is just so great…
I mean, you look at everything they’re doing on social media, you look at Facebook and Instagram and it’s like, dang, they’re doing that fun thing again, they’re doing something amazing, look what they’re doing, they just sold out their program, they just hit a crazy income goal. Whatever it may be, you’re watching them do all of these things…
And here’s the biggest takeaway that I hope that all of you can get – here’s my biggest takeaway that I got from all of these incredibly successful women that I’ve worked with, and men that I’ve worked with, that are running seven-figure businesses or more is that they are doing the work.
They are doing the work. If they’re coaching on creating more balance in your life or, you know, setting up more systems or whatever it may be, that’s fine. You can do that. You can hire more people. You can create a really smart business and you can take a weekend off if you want to take a weekend off. But the reality is, you still have to do the work.
You still have to put in the time. You still have to build that out. And this perfect, take a three-day weekend and you’re done and clocked out by 5tpm every night, you work nine to five and you clock out, that is not an entrepreneur’s lifestyle. So, if you think it is, if you think that I want to quit my nine to five job where I get a paycheck every two weeks to become an entrepreneur, to launch an online business, to become a real estate agent, to run my own financial firm, to run my own practice, whatever it may be, you are very, very, very wrong.
If you think that that’s going to bring you more flexibility, sorry, but in the beginning, what it’s going to bring you is a lot more work. That’s just the truth behind it. I love hearing when people say, I just want to have more flexibility in my world, so I’m going to become a real estate agent. I’m like, well, you’re going to fucking fail, because that’s not what you’re going to get, not in the beginning, especially not in the beginning. You’ve got to do the work.
So, what’s so wrong about being a workaholic? And the truth behind these uber-successful people is they are the same. I’ve been around many, many people, I’ve gone on very high-end retreats with very high-achievers. I have done weekends away with people that I watch their business, I see the structure of their business, I’m there to implement things back into my business. And seeing things firsthand is very different than the perception that you often get, than the story that you often get, than the Instagram story, than the Facebook feed, whatever, that you get.
It’s very, very different because these people are working a lot at whatever level. Most of them are working a lot and their justification behind working – I’ve asked the question to many people, like, I’m sorry, but you say this or you say you take off X days, but then I see social media blowing up or I see, you know, whatever. There’s ways to automate things to send out emails and, you know, you can have a team to support you in some areas, however, the majority of the time, people are working a lot more than they say they’re actually working.
And for me, what I’ve found over the last couple of years is that I’m trying to do so many things, like many of us. You’re trying to run businesses, you’re trying to be the best leader that you can, you’re trying to be an incredible mom, you’re trying to manage the household the best you can, you’re trying to manage family dynamics. You’re doing all of these things, and especially when it comes to business, and when I learn about new businesses, what’s always eye-opening but I don’t always get right in the beginning is that when you look at these incredible players that are out there doing all of the things, they have a team behind them, you guys.
They have people what are writing every single piece of content that is coming into your inbox that you’re saying, oh my god, this is incredible. You see them popping up on Facebook. Guess what, they have an ad strategist that pay thousands of dollars every month to manage Facebook ads and retargeting and getting in front of the right people. They have people pitching them and they have writing coaches and they have publicists, and they have it all.
So, if you are someone that is thinking, oh my gosh, how is this person doing all of the things? You guys, you have to know that there people behind the scenes that are helping them do all of the things. And if you’re just starting out, if you’re that one person that keeps buying a program or looking at someone else’s life or thinking, gosh, I just, how do they do it? What program did they buy? What’s going to change my life, or whatever – it’s time.
It’s a lot of time and it’s a lot of hard work that you have to put into whatever it is that you’re setting out that you’re trying to do. But I feel like we have to have this realization that the whole social media world is just putting on this fake persona and this fake life. I could give you so many examples and I hope that you don’t take these examples as me knocking anybody.
This is not me knocking anyone. This is not me saying this is right or this is wrong or how someone does business. It’s absolutely not. This is just, this is business, and I think it’s also a very hot topic, especially around so many of us that are trying to achieve something that maybe doesn’t quite exist, or really being so hard on ourselves for, again, wanting more or having big goals or wanting to create more success, wealth, and money in our families, more opportunity for those of us that aren’t satisfied.
That is a superpower. That is such an incredible trait to have that, rather than looking at it as a weakness, we need to see that as such a freaking incredible strength. Most people don’t have the grit. They don’t have the drive. They don’t have the work ethic that it takes to be at the very top. There is nothing wrong with working.
There is nothing wrong with – it’s a label. You say, I’m a workaholic. Well, that comes with a label and it comes with all of these negative emotions that really there’s no need for. There’s no need for any of that to take up space in our life, especially when we want to set the world on fire. What’s so wrong with that?
There’s nothing wrong with that, but here’s the thing; here’s what I find frustrating. I find it frustrating when you have someone selling a lifestyle that isn’t real, when you have someone selling a lifestyle or – I’m going to give you some examples here. And again, I don’t mean to knock this. there’s incredible people in my life that I look up to that I think their work ethic and determination are absolutely incredible and I look up to them, but there’s some pieces where I find it really hard at times.
So, you have someone that coaches on loving your body, body positivity and not dieting, yet their life looks like this; 4:30am wake up, followed by a five-mile run, followed by a personal training session, followed by whatever other workout, followed by very, very healthy diet, clean and healthy diet, but yet, we’re teaching people not to focus on those things or not to diet. That’s hard for me. It’s really hard for me. It’s hard for me to see this example of body positivity – like, our world is all about body positivity right now, right?
But the truth is that we have so many people that are extremely unhealthy because of the habits and being okay with certain images in the world. So yes, you can be incredibly overweight, but you might die of a heart attack at 45. So there’s this misconception of what’s missing there. You have to do the work and you need to take care of your body and your mind and yourself so that you can live a long life.
Maybe you don’t want to live a long life, and that’s fine, maybe I’m off on a goal there. Or the mom that I saw in Instagram feed recently and it was on a day that I was coming off of a cold and I had a call to lead my own mastermind and my nanny couldn’t make it to work. She had gotten stuck like three times in the snow and I came across this story or something on Instagram about a mom.
She’s a working mom. She’s a seven-figure business owner. She’s got two little girls, and it was all about, like, you know, we don’t judge people, and whether you’re a stay at home mom or you’re someone in business or however you manage your household, that’s fine and great, however you want to manage your world is how you manage your world and we can’t judge each other, and I am so about that. However, she’s recording a podcast or whatever, all of her stuff is up online, like all of her tech stuff is online and she’s got her two little girls sitting on a couch in her office drawing, completely silent, I’m sure, because she’s recording, and being little angels.
And meanwhile, my daughter is running around without her pants and the reason being she peed in her dad’s closet because she sees the dogs pee on the carpet every once in a while, and so we have a fourth dog – I mean, I’m just steam-cleaning my way through life. But she’s running around naked, my other dog is eating all of my stuff on my desktop, my two small dogs are going absolutely ape-shit because they can’t stand the big dog.
That is like the reality, and then we look at these perfect little lifestyles on Instagram and we’re comparing ourselves to that. And I just am so tired of it. I’m tired of not having the truth behind different successes. You guys, there are so many people that I look up to in business and in life, and one of the biggest things that I’ve learned over the past year and a half while I’m killing myself trying to do all of the things is that when you dig really deep, these people have incredible teams that are doing all of the things for them.
Yes, they are the visionary, yes, they are the face of the business. Yes, they still work incredibly hard, but they’re coaching and teaching us on how to do some of these things, yet they have like an incredible staff of copywriters and Facebook ads team and launch strategists and in-house photographers and in-house graphic design team and tech team and assistants and all of this stuff that you don’t know, copywriters, publicists. It’s crazy to me.
It’s so crazy to me. you can go online and look at all of these different resources on how to get published, how to have a six-figure launch, how to write a book, whatever your goals are, you can look online and you can buy a resource for it, and the resources are step by step.
I remember going through Amy Porterfield’s, one of her courses. I absolutely love Amy Porterfield. I think she’s absolutely incredible. But I bought one of her courses and it was all about from launch to whatever, it was building an online course. It was supposed to take you like 90 days. Holy shit, I think I’m pretty savvy and I also think that I have some pretty incredible work ethic. That was intense.
And so, yes, you can do some of this work on your own, but likely, you’re not going to have a six-figure launch right off the bat by doing a 90-day course. And so, my big message for all of you is that if you are someone that has looked online or if you’re looking at someone else’s life or you have someone that you really, really aspire to become or business goals that you really want to achieve and people that you look up to, I want you to know that there is always people behind the scenes.
These big players, they have so many incredible resources that are helping them create this massive business success that they want, whether it’s you write a book and you think, okay, great, I’m going to follow as all the steps to be on the New York Times Bestseller List. I just had a friend that was going through this process last year, and she was like, gosh like how it – think Danielle Laporte’s book just came out, White Hot Noise, and she was just getting so much traction and publicity and she was everywhere. Her book was blowing up.
And I have a friend that was also writing a book at the time and she was thinking, oh my gosh, her book is so incredible. And it’s one of those things, you open up the curtain behind the scenes and realize she paid a crap ton of money for the best PR, for the best help on, I’m sure, writing it, for all of the best people to help her get that publicity and to help her put a strategy in place to create a massive success in her business and in her book launch.
So, there’s always – if you want to peel back the layers – there is always more than what you think behind the scenes. And I feel like so much of the time, we are chasing things that are not necessarily real. There’s nothing wrong with working really hard and having big goals. There’s a misconception that you can just have these things overnight or have success that you want overnight, or maybe the physical appearance or physically fit healthy lifestyle, whatever it may be.
You are going to have to do the work. You’re going to have to get up earlier. You’re going to have to figure out a schedule. You’re going to have to figure out how to delegate. You are going to have to get crystal clear on the things that actually matter in your business and you’re going to have to tune out the noise of the other people and the other things that aren’t serving you anymore, letting go of all of those opinions, letting go of the fact that it’s going to be easy, because it’s not going to be easy.
I’m here to tell you that if you have a big goal, it’s not going to be easy. And it’s not as glamorous as we all make it out to be online. And if you need extra resources or if you have someone that you really look up to, ask them what they did to get there, and I promise you, there’s always more behind the scenes than you think that there probably is.
I often look at my own business and how far I’ve come over the last couple of years and some of the thoughts that I’ve had, and just realizations that I have when I realize who people are hiring out and delegating to do certain tasks and bringing on board to help them build the business that they’re building. But even the smallest things, which you probably aren’t going to think is a small thing – I never thought this was a small thing.
But I remember having friends and colleagues and people in different masterminds that I was participating in as a participant doing, like, photo shoots and hair and makeup and scheduling out all of that content and social media and all of that and I’m thinking, like, oh my god, why do you need a photo shoot? Like, why are you doing photos or why do you need this?
Or even, when I scheduled my first photo shoot, I was like, I don’t need hair and makeup. Like, I can do my hair and makeup fine. And then, all of a sudden, you realize what goes into most people’s social content bank and what goes in the strategy behind it and why they have photo shoots four times a year.
And I oftentimes think, okay, we want everything to look so pretty and nice and image and marketing is such a huge piece of our businesses, but it’s just not real. It’s just not real. It’s not the reality of life, of what we wake up and look like every single day. And I guess that’s part of the business and that’s part of our gig and it is what it is.
And it’s also fun. If you start opening up to some of these new experiences, they’re also really fun. And for me, I’m such a visual person. So the creative side of these projects are super fun too. But anyways, I just want you to know that so much of what you see, if you don’t already know this already, I know social media is just crazy now and I’m sure you know that that’s not real life. I hope you do at least.
But also, when you’re looking at other people’s business and you’re in this comparison state, just know that they have incredible teams. Most people have incredible teams behind them making everything happen. But we all have to start somewhere. We all have to dip our toes into the water and start taking action and starting small and as you continue to grow, opportunities unfold and you start to realize that there’s better ways of doing things and you can be more supportive.
And as you bring more money in along that journey, you can start building this wealth of team and resources for yourself to get to wherever it is that you want to go. But what we all need to know is that it takes work and it takes ethic, and there’s not easy magic button.
And if there is anybody out there that is selling you on that easy magic button, it’s a total crock of BS. So it’s about getting real and putting in the time and being okay with wanting more in our life, being okay with working hard for our goals and saying yes to the things that we like and being okay with the people that don’t necessarily agree with that, because at the end of the day, like I’ve said many times, it is our life.
And remember the quote that I shared with you earlier from my friend, Kara, who, if you guys don’t know her background story, she comes from a very wealthy Jewish family of attorneys. She’s a Harvard Law student and she decided to take a different path. She’s incredibly smart. And she became a life coach. So, as you can all imagine, her family was really excited for her to do that.
But now, she’s a seven-figure coach and she coaches on confidence. But anyways, her message is, “Anything that I’ve created that I value came at the price of disappointing other people’s expectations of me.” So just know that as you go forward. Whatever it is that you crave, keep going in that direction, because I promise, people start to unfold. Your message starts to unfold and you start aligning with more people that are on that same path as you, and that’s what’s really incredible and so powerful.
So, when all my tribe and my mastermind group is saying, you know, I’m not proud that I’m a workaholic or I’m not proud that it’s hard for me to check out, gosh, that hit me like a ton of bricks because I have been there. And I have self-critiqued myself so hard and been so hard on myself for wanting to work and wanting more. And now, the reality of it is I’m proud of that because we are the elite that actually want to do more in our world and in our life. And that is a beautiful thing, friends.
So, keep going, keep aligning with people like that. and I just want to get real with you and let you know, if you’re disappointed, if you feel like you’re not moving fast enough, it takes everybody time. So keep going and know that there’s more behind the scenes than you ever, ever will know, and keep doing you.
So, I hope you guys really enjoyed this episode. It’s something that I’ve thought about so much recently as I’m on my own journey of trying to make shit happen in my own life and then comparing to others who have already created it and realizing there is a massive, massive strategy and team behind it. There always, always is. That’s why goals and strategy are so important.
Now, listen, I hope you all have an incredible week and you got some big takeaways from this episode. I have such a huge favor of all of you. If you have not already liked and given us a five-star review in iTunes, please, please, please like, share, leave us a comment. We have some incredible guests coming on, really big names, huge takeaways. I am so excited to share them with you and I want other women just like you to be able to find the show and find us and hear some of these incredible women, the interviews that I have lined up and coming up.
So, if you have not already, please, I would be forever grateful for you to like, review, and share our show. I will see you all next week. Have an incredible week and thank you so much for tuning in.
Thanks for showing up and listening to this week’s episode of the Love Your Living podcast. If you’re ready to create a business and life you love or simply take your already-pretty incredible life to the next level, head on over to loveyourlivingonline.com or simply check out the link in this week’s episode of show notes to instantly download my 6-Figure & Beyond Business Blueprint. You’re going to absolutely love it.