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As we approach the holidays, it’s important to remember to love yourself during the chaos; as holiday parties arise, families come to town, Christmas gifts add up and as we reflect on 2018 and create new goals for next year. Whew! It’s easy to get carried away, but we must remember who we are. We are strong, independent women who are going to crush the holidays as well as our new business plans.

I want to share with you three women and their stories of loving themselves in the midst of being the first lady, a famous singer and an accidental icon. I briefly share some key points and encourage you to listen/read more of their stories.


Michelle Obama
Interview: Michelle Obama Gets Candid With Oprah About Her New Memoir, Becoming
An interview with Oprah discussing her new book Becoming, where she shares her life from her childhood to her years as an executive balancing the demands of motherhood and work, to her time in the White House. A few points from her interview;

  • Relationships; Asking for what you need, taking accountability for your own happiness and needs, drawing a line in the sand and saying this is what I want… loving yourself, life isn’t a destination.
  • GO HIGH when others go low; What’s the goal? Take your ego out of it. Even when it’s hard to do. My approach, do the work. Let your work speak for itself. Have the long view, don’t look at today look at fifty years from now.
  • No matter what you do there will always be forces against you; Come home in your safe space, give your chance a moment to say exactly what you want to say – “bubble moments.” Think before you speak and then move forward.


Lady Gaga
Netflix Documentary: Five Foot Two
Gaga documentary on her struggles over the last five years, not feeling worthy, enough, beautiful and now finally being in a place where she loves herself and feels beautiful and how that has changed her life. A few takeaways from her Netflix episodes;

  • “I can always bring my past with me but I can never go back…you’ve got to leave yourself behind” Gaga
  • Methodology behind what I’ve done – when they wanted me to be sexy/pop I put my own spin on it so that I was the one in control. Be in control of your own life.
  • You weren’t born to fit in. You were born to stand up, speak out, act out and to live life out loud!
  • Whenever you become powerful as a woman in a relationship or in a business there is always opposition – don’t let anyone own you.
  • Find your worth, love yourself and own it.


Iris Apfel
Book: Accidental Icon
Iris Apfel has never been worried about what others think. The most important aspect of self is being who you are and not being apologetic – which is where her entire message stems from – she has always followed her heart. Some takeaways from her book;

  • Don’t obsess over your age. “I never think about my age. I never think about it – it’s a passing thought. It’s just a number… I’ve found that work is very healthy for me. I love what I do and I put my heart and soul into it.”
  • When something excites you – go for it! In the title Accidental Icon, Iris Apfel didn’t expect people to know her name or be called a fashion icon. “I never expected anything. I just feel things in my gut and I do them. If something sounds exciting and interesting I do it – and then I worry about it later.”
  • Care about your own opinion above anyone else’s. “If you have to be all things to all people, you end up being nothing. The way I dress may be different to some who feel the need to label, but that’s of no concern to me. I don’t dress to be stared at; I dress for myself.”
  • Most importantly, If you’re happy, have found love, are surrounded by good people, doing what you like and giving back to others, that’s success!


What I love about all three of these women; they show up authentically, they follow their hearts, and they do what makes them happy. What I took from all these messages is that you have to do you first. Loving yourself, giving yourself what you need, letting go of what no longer serves you. The power of it and also how it applies directly to this time of year. The stresses, the obligations, the keeping everyone happy, the things, the people…rather than just doing you.


This year, DO YOU for the holidays. Find what makes you merry – and then do it up right.


Love Your Living