We have a tendency to ask why this is happening to us, but there’s really only one question we should be asking – what if all of this was happening for you and not to you? It sounds a little wild but stay with me here. When you can start approaching adversity with this in mind, your growth has no limits.
Join me in this episode as I explore my recent dark days and take you through my process for extracting the best out of crappy situations. I want you to get through this, so tune in to alter your mindset and discover a new perspective, helping you thrive in your darkest hours.
Welcome to Love Your Living, a podcast for ambitious women who choose to have it all. Learn how to achieve the massive success you’ve been dreaming of in your business and your personal life. Here’s your host, multiple six-figure business owner and a life stylist, Brooke Keeling.
Hello, hello and welcome to the Love Your Living podcast, where we talk about life and ambition and growth and the reality of it. Welcome, I’m so glad that you’re here. Today, I have a question to start out our episode and that question is, what if life happened for you and not to you?
Think about it for a second; the good, the bad, all of it, the hard times, the high times, the lows. Have you ever had a day where you feel like everything is going wrong? You get a tough email from a client or a team member, everything technology isn’t working; the worst for me. You drop your phone and it cracks, breaks – great, you get to spend two hours at the iPhone store just to spend $500 on the newest latest version of what you already had.
You feel like you’re getting phone call after phone call, email after email, just trying to put fires out. And you think to yourself, what the fuck is going on? What am I doing to put this out there? What am I doing to deserve this? Come on, universe, I need a break.
I have. I’ve had these days and, in fact, I just had one the other day. This was my day. Now, I really challenge myself to focus on the positive. Seek positive and it shall seek you. Where focus goes, energy flows. Focus on the negative, you get more negative. Find gratitude. And then, a day like this comes along and I’m like, “What the fuck? I’m seeking. I am grateful. This shit doesn’t work. I need a drink.”
My day like this turned into a couple of days like this. And honestly, it really did make me second-guess a lot. What was I doing? Where was my focus at? Why were these things really happening?
A few days went by and I started to see the haze lift. I started to find clarity again. And with that came a pretty clear message of why and what. The cool thing is, I actually seek out what’s actually happening and I know it. I can see these things happening and I really question myself.
And at this time, what came to me – it was time to make some changes. It was time to have some hard conversations. It was time to get curious. It was time to regain some control in my life and in my business. All of the things that were blowing up in my face were like flares. The universe was saying, “You’re asking, but you’re not listening to me. You aren’t seeing clearly.”
So I guess this is what just has to happen. I truly believe that some of the hardest times, the darkest hours, the days where you are really questioning am I cut out for this – those are the days that will bring you to your greatness. Those are the days that strengthen you for the next storm.
They aren’t happening to you, they’re happening for you. You have to get stronger. It’s your training in life. Also, in business, you have to get comfortable in the uncomfortable. I have learned that business is constantly changing. I used to think maybe I wasn’t doing things right because of how often I had to reevaluate or change something.
I started to second-guess myself, like why isn’t this working? Why am I constantly making changes? When the truth was, and the truth now that I see is that I know I have everything inside of me that I need. I know that I’m worthy of the greatness that I’m seeking and all of the change is me.
It’s me growing at a rapid pace, which really is me. Exactly what I’m asking for is what I’m receiving and it’s what’s necessary in order for me to achieve my goals. It’s not all good. It’s not all rainbows. It’s the hard stuff that has to come too because those are the times that you grow the most, you learn the most and you skill up in order to hit the next level. And then you hit the next level and then guess what – shit starts to blow up again. The key during these times is you must stay curious. You must be open to the bigger message that’s trying to present itself.
What happens in life happens for you, not to you. What if all these shitty things were actually beautiful things happening to me for a very beautiful reason? What if? This question has allowed me to let go of so much control in my life. It has allowed me to also welcome the hard times, welcome wading in the muck because I know it’s going to get me to the other side, it’s going to get me through to what I’m seeking so much quicker.
And I know I can’t control many of these things that are happening in life anyway but thinking I can wastes a whole lot of energy; I promise you that. and then, for me, it has a different meaning. And usually, that meaning is failure if you’re not openly looking at it as a positive. And there’s nothing wrong with failure.
You know, in my yoga session this morning, my yoga mentor and guide said, “There’s nothing wrong with falling. There’s nothing scary about falling. It’s the fear of falling itself that we’re so scared of.” So ultimately, when we’re in these places and states and situations, we have two choices; you can dwell on all of the awful things that are happening to you and in the world.
You can be a victim and be miserable because you just can’t ever catch a break and life is so hard for you. You just don’t have what it takes. You aren’t whatever. Or you can choose to find the good in the difficult times. I don’t necessarily think that everything in life happens for a specific reason, but I do believe that there is a meaning behind it if you choose to be open to it.
When one door opens, another one closes and if you’re open to seeing it, it will be very clear. If not, it will pass you right up. I love me some Sage Robbins – like, love, love, love her. She is one of the most beautiful people that I have had the opportunity to be in the presence of and hug. And oh my gosh, it’s like a dream come true.
If you don’t know Sage Robbins, it’s Tony Robbins’ wife. She lights up a room and her energy and her love feels like it just stays with you forever, at least for me. And Tony was telling a story of her once and said, “People get so pissed off because they will be on fire about something that happened.”
And Sage and Tony are very much partners in business. Sage is very much involved in all of Tony’s businesses. And so she was standing there in the office and someone was so worked up and the world is ending and whatever the actual story was. And Sage stood there and she looked at them and she says, “Wow, well isn’t that just beautiful.”
And of course, they’re like, “What the fuck?” But the message goes back to what if life happened for you, not to you? What if you looked at your hard times, failures, struggles, losses as something beautiful happening? I challenge you to really be present over the next few days.
You have to train yourself. There’s so much negativity in our world, you have to challenge your thoughts about what is happening to you. Ask yourself, is this happening for me and what beauty could come out of this? When you go through life and you go through your day to day like this, you will have so much happiness, more happiness, so much more ease and less anxiety because you’re letting go of so much control and you’re living life and you’re seeing the positive even in the dark times and you’re able to grow from them. It’s so powerful.
So that’s my challenge for you this week. Be present. Look at those hard things as messages. What messages are trying to be presenting themselves? What messages are there for you to see something bigger? And honestly, you can even go back. Go back and look at some of the hardest times in your life and see, for evidence purposes – if you don’t believe in this or if you’re like, “Yeah okay, I don’t know,” look back at some of those hard times.
And if they’re really fresh still, maybe you can’t find anything good, but I know even within my life I can look back at some of the toughest times, toughest times in my husband and I’s relationship, toughest times in business, toughest times in life. And I realize that those tough times, those hard times that I didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel were the times that have gotten me to where I am at today and not one single ounce of me would ever, ever change it, ever.
It is what has made me who I am and for that I am grateful. And when we can look at life in that view, with that lens, there’s so much good that comes out of it.
The last couple of weeks, I have mentioned a worksheet that we put together on creating more of things that you love in your life and doing it now, not waiting, not thinking someday in the future, but creating more of the life that you are seeking and longing for right now. And we’ve gotten so much feedback and so much love from that, so if you haven’t yet, go download yourself a copy.
We’ve included it again in this week’s show notes. So super easy to find and have some fun with it. Go create some magic in your life. I hope you enjoy that. as always, you can see what we have going on over here on the Gram @love.your.living and I would love, love, love to hear from you guys.
You don’t know how much your words mean to me and I love hearing your feedback and it also helps other women just like you find the show. So you can visit loveyourlivingonline.com/iTunes for directions on how you can review the show. Thank you so much. You guys have an incredible week and we’ll see you next week.
Thanks for showing up and listening to this week’s episode of Love Your Living. If you’re ready to create a business and life you love, or simply take your already pretty incredible life to the next level, head over to loveyourlivingonline.com/balance to download our five-step guide creating more balance in your life.