My life changing question.
We’ve all had “one of those days”. It’s inevitable. Regardless of how perfect and magical you may think someone’s life is or how easy it is for them (based on their Instagram feed of course), it isn’t always rainbows and perfection. We all have hard times. That’s life, that’s growth.
So what do you do when you have a really shitty day and nothing is going right? Most likely, you second guess your worthiness or capabilities. You start talking really negatively to yourself. You start comparing yourself to someone that just seems to have it all figured out, someone that’s achieving at the level you dream of. Even worse, you want to quit. You’re on the verge of giving up. What do you do in those moments?
Of course, I have moments like this too but I do my best not to stay there long. If I am there too long, I really check myself and question why I’m stuck and what I would need to take with me next time to break the loop quicker. I had a big ah-ha recently. A question popped up in my mind that immediately made me change my thoughts.
What would I say to my daughter in this place?
If she came to me with these thoughts, insecurities, struggles, defeat, loss of confidence or clarity… what would I tell Reese? How would I feel deep down about what she was saying to me? How much would that break my heart to hear her be so hard on herself?
We all want the best for our kids (well most of us). I sure do. It is no secret that more than anything, I want to lead by example and show Reese that she can achieve anything in life. That she is perfect exactly the way she is. She is beautiful and smart. How can I truly teach her that if I don’t lead by example and walk the walk? That means treating myself with the same sense of compassion and love.
If she came to me with the feelings and thoughts during some of my hardest times, what would I tell her? How would I help her? How could I support her? How would I love her?
This is/was a game changer for me. Anytime I am feeling a little off, I ask myself this question and the answers come so easily. Sometimes we get lost in the complexities of our own shit. It is so easy to do. We can give other people such great advice and direction but when it comes to being able to find direction in our own life, we over complicate it.
The next time you are feeling stuck or in a hard place think of someone that you love more than anyone or anything. Feel how much you care about them, how much you want to protect them. If they had the same thought that you have, (because that is all our shit is – a thought and a made up story around that thought)… how would you give them strength? What would you say to them? How would you coach them through it?
Love yourself like you love others!