Want to have it all? Well, the best day to get started is today. Welcome to Love Your Living. A podcast for ambitious women who want to take their life and business to a whole new level of success. I’m Brooke Keeling, multiple six-figure business owner, passionate entrepreneur, and your host. Welcome to another episode of the Love Your Living podcast.
Hey everyone, and welcome to the Love Your Living podcast, I am your host Brooke Keeling, and I’m excited to be here with you all today. It has been a few weeks since I have showed up and recorded a podcast, and that’s not like me. So for those of you that tune in each week, thank you.
Thank you for coming back around, we just hit a 100 episodes not that long ago. And up until a 100 episodes every single week I knew I needed to get a piece of content out. I knew that I needed to record a podcast and in the beginning it was really difficult. It took me a lot of time to research different topics and understand and listen to my audience and say, “Okay, what are people needing to hear right now? What perspective can I give and what homework, what research do I need to do on different topics?”
And then of course, recording it, and there are so many different methods of recording a podcast. I think I should do a podcast sometime on getting started on how to do a podcast.
But I didn’t miss episodes, I held myself pretty accountable, even if it was late on delivering it to my team. I always figured it out, found a way, stayed up super late to get stuff out the door. And since hitting 100 episodes, and up until this year, even through pregnancy, even through having a baby, even through maternity leave, I held myself accountable to having something out for you guys. And this year has been kind of wild and just navigating and keeping up with things.
And to be honest, the last few weeks have just been a game changer in terms of perspective on what needs to be done. And honestly, giving myself the space and the time that I need to do the things that I know that are important, and what needs my attention right this second, and letting go of the pressure of doing all of the other things. And so unfortunately I haven’t had new content out to you guys.
And I’m going to talk a bit about that today and what’s been happening in my world. And oftentimes I feel like when I share times like this, if I share what’s going on behind the scenes it tends to be a point of view that so many of you reach out to me and say, “Thank you for sharing this,” or, “I’m feeling this,” or, “I totally resonate with this.” And that’s my hopes for this podcast. And I feel like I’ve done this a couple of times and it’s been like 2020 is just like hello, what next? What next in 2020, do we need to pivot, do we need to navigate?
And I think that this is a year, if you’re with me, this is a year for all of us to step more into who we are, to find our voice, to learn about ourselves during these times that are challenging, that are hard. And come out the other side stronger than we ever have been. And that is my goal, no matter how messy, no matter how hard, no matter how emotional, whatever it takes.
I want to show up in this world with the confidence and the freedom of being me. And I hope that that’s something that I can inspire you all to do as well, because as you grow businesses, as you become leaders of businesses, as you lead people, as you navigate life, relationships, marriages, being parents. There’s so many things that challenge us in the world, society, being a woman. I mean men go through it as well, I am about equality, race, gender, everything.
The more that we’re able to be able to show up authentically, the more freedom that we have within our life, and the more that we create a life of fulfillment. But what is so incredibly difficult is the pressure to show up in a certain way, especially as you continue to grow.
So I had a coach several years back, it was during one of the harder seasons within my business, I was going through a lot of change. And I would say I’m pretty much at that next cycle. We go through cycles where we grow and we grow to get somewhere and then all of a sudden we think, well, what the fuck is happening? Now, I have to start over, kind of thing. That’s kind of how I feel right now. And I remember my coach at the time saying to me, I made some really hard decision, he said, “The bigger you get, the bigger the target on your back gets.”
And I’ve been really giving gratitude to one, that coach that I had at that time, that made such an impact and showed me so much love and believed in me when I felt like people were just wanting me to fail. And because that’s a lot of what I feel right now, and let me be really clear in the sense that I don’t feel like I am failing.
I completely understand that I’m going through a massive area of growth. And like many other people it’s growth in so many areas of my life. And it’s hard and it’s uncomfortable because people are waiting and they’re watching, and they’re waiting to see what you stand for and what your beliefs are. And the world right now is trying to create such a massive divide. And there’s so many political agendas around all of the things that are happening, that it’s creating fear, and it’s creating anger, and it’s creating hatred.
So all of these movements and these times for us to dig deep and do really deep inner work, I think that we’re trying to go to war and suppress some of the feelings. And by suppressing the feelings and suppressing the beliefs, and not being able to have an opinion or a voice without being torn down and burned, it’s difficult, because that creates even more tension. And then we’re just staying in our own lane and we’re not talking, and it’s creating even more disconnect between humans, which we thrive with connection, with each other.
So anyways, 2020, damn, it’s been wild. We have Covid beginning of the year, Black Lives Matter movement and now we’re headed into the election. And there’s a lot of tension in the world, there’s a lot happening. Within my world I can tell you that – I mean of course you know I had a baby. I’m going through postpartum, I feel I came back to work way too soon, my mind wasn’t ready, my body wasn’t ready. And trying to do the things that I was trying to do, just didn’t make sense.
And going through then pushing myself through construction while also trying to do all of these things, it’s too much. I learned my limit. I learned my limit and I hope that I can remind myself of that limit any time that I start to start more fires around me. But it has been a learning lesson, so construction, Covid; I am not where I thought I would be when entering into this. I worked from home; I didn’t have fear around working from home. I love being at home. Going through construction while Covid that was a trying time.
Many of our businesses are already somewhat remote. It was easy to take my teams remote, of course challenging to keep connection and to manage people, which a lot of businesses are feeling. And the constant pivot, I have lost employees, I have had to navigate that landscape and asking myself questions like, okay, how could I have been a better leader? What, does this make sense with my business? What could I have done differently? When things like this show up in your life you start to see yourself as a failure almost in asking yourself those questions.
However, you know, it’s also this place of show up with strength, don’t show too much emotion. Don’t show weakness. And so trying to show up and be strong while navigating through all of this, navigating through, I wouldn’t say challenging times, but also different areas within my marriage and my relationship with my husband that have been also very trying during a time where you’re just, again, stacking the fires on top of each other. And it’s just physically and emotionally exhausting.
And also being a leader within my community and within businesses, people are waiting for you to respond. And how you respond is never going to please everyone. And so how do you get your point across? How do you articulate clearly? What do you truly stand for? And questioning myself through a lot of this and saying, “Am I showing up authentically or am I showing up to keep people happy? Am I using softeners so that I can keep the peace?” And it’s really, really difficult, and maybe some of you guys have felt this, because it is hard.
Within our area now we’re seeing the second round of Covid as well coming through, and schools are not taking place in person. A lot of them are announcing within our community that they’re doing online school at least through October. This is a tough time for business owners and for parents, new rules and regulations around how businesses can operate. And a lot of parents that have kids that are now having to take half of their work day or more spent to keep their kid moving forward within their school work and their educational platforms.
Online homework doesn’t just get done and online classes don’t just get done when you have grade school kids, or young kids. So I mean I for one, I’m so grateful with the support that I have. But I feel for so many people, and I know that this is a difficult time for everyone. And rather than being able to help each other, I feel like more of what we’re doing is tearing each other down, based on if you meet and checkbox.
But here’s the thing, here’s what I’ve found through all of this. And this is where I hope that it can really help you guys. It’s difficult, Love your Living is a very personal brand, it’s a personal brand, it is me. I am the face of it. It’s me showing up and being able to share what I stand for, what I believe in, business mindset, business strategy, how to pivot your business during this time, constantly keeping a pulse and teaching others so that they can grow and create more of what they’re wanting in their life, because that’s what I believe in. That’s what I am absolutely obsessed in.
But also with any business there is this level of you as a business owner and culture is created based on what you believe in, and the values that you have created within your organization, which are getting challenged right now for so many of us. And also being able to show the human side of you, but how do you show the human side of yourself when you’re working through really hard shit? How do you show up strong, giving power and encouragement to others when you feel like you’re face down in the fucking dirt?
And for me, and this is what these last few weeks, you know, I would say couple of months is taking care of myself, doing the basics, not doing much more beyond the basics, but just surviving, like I said. Just surviving is okay right now, we just have to survive, do what we need to do. And understanding self-care on another level and filling each other up.
But here’s what I have done and it’s been really fucking hard work. Looking at all of my insecurities, looking at all of the negative thoughts within my mind of not enough, not accepted, what I’ve failed at, all of those things, and challenging them, looking at a situation and saying, “Is this me?” Being open enough to ask myself could I have done better? What could I have done differently? That’s something so many of us don’t want to ask a question to.
We like to place external blame on other people, external blame and rage, and it’s not me, it’s you, in any relationship, it’s not me, it’s you, you suck, you’re an awful person. You don’t understand this. And for those of us that have control within our life, or control issues, I like to be in control, I’m going to be real honest. Sometimes these questions are really hard for us.
And so I gave myself the space and the time and that’s why I’m here saying thank you for giving me the space. And if you need to take space, guess what, that is always okay. It’s always okay to take more space for yourself and figure out what it is that you’re feeling so that you can come out the other side and you can share more of that. And you can come out the other side being more of who you truly are. And understanding those things, they don’t just present themselves.
We have to give ourselves time to educate ourselves, to be in uncomfortable dialogue and to see what is creating anger and rage within our life. Why are we responding so angrily to something, what is it? What’s the deeper meaning behind it? Am I a failure? Is life happening to me? No, life happens for us, not to us.
So transitions in my business, having employees leave, that’s always tough, especially when you really love people or you put a lot of time and effort in training, there’s a lot of emotion that goes around it. I have seen it all.
I’ve been called a racist which I feel like, how? I’ve had some of the most diverse teams within my businesses ever. I want equality more than anything. Those are fighting words. Those are daggers, because you see something differently. But rather than suppressing it and rather than going back with more hatred, it’s me asking myself questions. It’s challenging my thoughts, educating myself more, figuring out what it is that I do stand for, even if it’s not what somebody else wants to hear. And that is the beauty and the power of where we are currently at in this world and in this life.
These hard times, no matter what they are, these hard times, what we are in right now, is what forms who we are. It’s what we decide to do when things are really hard. It’s how we choose to see them as well.
And what I have found through some of these really hard times is that, one, with my businesses, what I was building, what was comfortable for the last three years, five years, was no longer my big picture vision for what I wanted for myself and my family long term, I had outgrown that. That had changed. And guess what, change is okay. Change is okay. It’s okay to change your mind. It’s okay to change your vision.
It’s okay to change your goals and your dreams. But sometimes when we have – when we’re out there for the world to judge us, we start creating beliefs around what will people think. What do people think? I don’t want to embarrass myself. And that shit doesn’t really matter. So I got really, really comfortable with that and understanding that I have the freedom, like all of these things that had happened within my business, that I was like, holy shit, alright, what now? Alright, what now? Alright, what now?
All of those things have gotten me to a place where it’s allowed me to create this vision and allowed me to see that everything that was happening was happening for a reason. Everything that was happening was supporting my vision of what I wanted in the future, that was no longer a good fit. So thinking…
My coach said to me at this time, “You’ve got to analyze your business, sometimes it’s really, really difficult when you go through times like this. And you can think about this as your sphere of influence, your friends, your teams that you manage. You have anchors and you have propellers. And if you’re trying to please people that are in anchored positions, that don’t want to grow, that are holding you back, you’ve got to get rid of them.” You have anchors and propellers.
So take an inventory of those people within your organizations right now, because you need those propellers. You need people onboard with that long picture vision and the loyalty, and people that are willing to do the work right now.
One of the things that I have found that I have zero tolerance for, absolute zero tolerance for is just dumb people that aren’t willing to do the work. If you want a fucking handout, go somewhere else. Don’t ask me for my money if you’re not doing the work. Don’t make up all of the excuses if you’re not reaching your goals and you’re not doing the work yourself. I can’t, I just can’t handle it. I have no time or space for it.
One of the other beautiful things that came out of this is a stronger relationship with the people that are in alignment with that. And I’m not talking about just business, I’m talking my husband, I’m talking my marriage, that has gone through this turbulence of challenge, beliefs, long term, being in alignment, hard conversations, really hard conversations during already really hard times. And what comes out of those is strength, when we can show up and have those conversations versus not having them and then it grows, and it grows, and it grows, and it grows.
And you are not showing up and being true to yourself in what you actually need. And that will never create a healthy environment for your relationships, for your dreams, for your business, for your family, for your kids, for your life, ever. So coming out of this, being able to have an opportunity, one of the things I’m really excited about is forming, I guess, I haven’t even really said this, but forming a partnership with my husband in one of our businesses. I have never worked alongside my husband before; we have kept things very separate.
And through some of this change and shifts and transition, we are now able to collaborate on a project that we’re both incredibly excited about, that has so much opportunity for growth. How amazing is that? Through difficult times these beautiful lights arrive.
So during those hard times when we don’t quite know what’s happening, there is beauty on the other side, if we’re just able to wait out the discomfort. And take times to ask ourselves the questions and realign with what it is that’s happening in our world and in our lives. Allow yourself to feel that discomfort. Allow yourself to ask yourself the hard questions. Allow yourself to figure out is this really what’s happening right now?
And if someone is coming at you or you have a bunch of haters which guess what, I have haters; you know you’re doing something right if you have haters. There’s a Kobe Bryant quote that says, “Don’t be good.” I mean Jay-Z raps this too, “Don’t be good, be great. People don’t hate the good ones, they hate the great ones.”
But right now what we need is the oomph, the bravery to be able to show up and speak our minds and stand for what we believe in, even though we know we’re going to have haters. You’re going to have haters. Now, I guess you could go find them a lot easier. We look at that as a positive. But it’s something that I’ve challenged myself on a lot, of being someone, you know, what do you want to be, because there’s no right or wrong either.
Do you want to be someone that stands up for what they believe in regardless of how it affects their business, how they’re seen by outward circles? Or do you want to be someone that kind of hides behind the curtain? And leaders are the ones that really step up. And I can tell you right now, being honest with myself, I haven’t been a leader. I have been the one hiding behind the curtain because I think there’s no fucking way I can handle any more emotion right now. I can’t do it, so I’m just going to stay quiet.
So one of the commitments that I’ve made to myself as I navigate through this, I think we all have to give ourselves space and time, but I do think that we have to stand up and speak up for something bigger than who we are. And it doesn’t have to be mean, it doesn’t have to be, it can be kind. It can be with love. But there’s a lot of controversy that fuels anger and rage, but suppressing it doesn’t help anything. And it’s also a fine balance too of like am I being too difficult? Am I being too difficult? Am I being too loud? Am I being too noisy?
One of my great friends and a mentor of mine that I had for a couple of years, she said recently, “Whatever is wrong with you, whatever people tell you what’s wrong with you is right with you.” So be over there giving yourself so much shit about how your feelings don’t fit in or you need to be better here, you need to be making more money or you need to be a better leader or you’re not good enough. Or you’re not whatever; whatever it is that you’re telling yourself; know that whatever is wrong with you is actually right with you.
And the more that we can hone into that and grow that and show up as that, that’s when we start to really develop the relationships and the people in our lives that matter, that matter in our businesses, that matter in our lives. That’s what it’s all about. Who cares what people think about us when we know we did our best, when we know that we stood up for what we believed in, when we showed up? And I’ve thought about that a lot, even with my kids; I don’t want to have to sit on the sidelines, because it’s uncomfortable.
But it’s also navigating your way through to figure out you first, giving yourself the time to figure out you first. So that you can speak more clearly on what it is that you want to stand up for. So finding the beauty in all the discomfort, man, finding the beauty in all the discomfort, knowing that all of this change, all of these hard times, they’re powerful, they’re incredibly powerful.
And now more than ever is the time to tune in, tune into yourself, tune into what you needs are, fill up on more of the things that fill you up, on the things that matter in life, and get rid of the shit. Get rid of the things that no longer fit within your life. I don’t care what it is, if you’ve done the work, if you’ve had the hard conversations, if you’ve put in the time. I don’t care if it’s your marriage. I don’t care if you’re looking to close up the shops in your business. If it doesn’t make you happy anymore, it needs to go.
And by having the conversations, by being open to at least having these conversations, I promise you, if you are in an area where you’re thinking oh my gosh, what does make me happy? Or how is this going to work out? Or what do I believe in? Or what am I going to stand for? What am I going to tolerate? What am I not going to tolerate?
You just start asking yourself these questions and feeling how you feel through them, you will find your way. And there are going to be things along the way that dissipate, that fall off, that are like leaves off of a dead tree, that are allowing you to go higher and higher. There’s going to be people, there’s going to be things that leave that are no longer a part of your bigger plan. And there are going to be other relationships, people, opportunities that are going to thrive because of this, that are going to become incredibly strong, because you’re brave enough to stand in this place.
So if you’re feeling any of this right now, I’m telling you, it is an emotional freaking rollercoaster, it is the ups and the downs every single day of navigating something new. And one of the things that I really want you to get clear on is what your why is, what is your why? And if you don’t know it, take some time to explore it, not an hour, take a week. Take a couple of weeks to just ask yourself questions, to journal in the morning. What’s your why? Why do you show up every day? Why do you do the work that you do? What is your big picture vision? What do you want in your life?
You guys, right now more than ever, if you don’t have a vision for what it is that you’re working towards, it’s going to be really difficult to reach your goals, because we’re in constant reaction mode. And we’re constantly getting pulled in every single direction to figure out a new obstacle. There’s so much pressure on us to perform and to be great and to provide. And to do all of the things, we have to really truly understand what that vision is so that we are able to say yes and no to things. Some things might end and new beginnings form. So know what your why is.
The next thing that I want you to do is take an inventory of your associations. Take an inventory of your people who is in your corner, who’s supporting you? Do you have a coach? If you don’t have a coach, oh my gosh, get one. I don’t think that I would be standing right now if I didn’t have my coaches and my mentors, and here’s why. There may be days where I feel like I could not get any lower and then there is another fucking blow.
And I can go and have a conversation with my coach and within minutes, within seconds, it’s literally turned around and gives me the strength to continue to keep going. And also understand what the fuck are you crying about? Get back up, we’ve got this, this is nothing. It gives you that outside perspective of what’s actually happening versus what the story is that we’re telling to ourselves.
And I’m telling you, I have gained so much strength and connections with my coaches because of this. But the other reality of it is they get me out of that loop so quickly and allowing me to see, okay, something bigger is happening here. So regardless of what it is, there is always something bigger, there is a bigger meaning behind it, if we’re able to just keep going.
So I want you to really look at your associations. And I want you to figure out who do you want in your circles and who do you no longer want in your circles? What are your values and your beliefs? What is it that you stand for? And find more people that are in alignment with that. If you have people that are, you know, we’re all trying to figure ourselves out even more.
What that means, it’s going to create some un-comfortableness between the associations that we have within our lives, because there’s going to be people that no longer fit. And you know what, that’s also okay. It’s actually a beautiful thing, because by letting go of those relationships, it allows them to go and do something that creates more fulfillment for them. But it allows you to go to that next level. It allows you to continue to go higher. Higher love, Steve Winwood, go play it, Bring Me a Higher Love.
And I want you to show up, we all have to show up, we can all do better showing up. And how do you want to show up too? Do you want to show up a fire? Do you want to show up with kindness and love? There’s nothing wrong with it. Who are you? Take away the softeners, go piss people off. Go speak your truth, be you.
The more that we can all be ourselves and stop trying to play this game of getting people to like us and putting on this big façade, that doesn’t serve us, it hurts us, it hinders us. And right now it’s really uncomfortable sometimes to show up and have an opinion and have a voice. But we need to do that for ourselves. We have the right.
And what I’m telling you is this is something that I’m working on too, so I’m not saying just go and do this. This is something that I’m committed to doing as well, is showing up. Showing up without fear of what’s someone going to think, how many death threats am I going to get today? That’s part of being a leader, being strong and being brave.
So that’s one of my commitments as well, is showing up, having a voice, standing up for what I believe in, even though I know people aren’t going to like it, that’s okay because I know who I am. I know who my people are. I know what my why is. And that’s going to allow me to speak my truth and be in alignment of what it is that I want to create in my life. And the sooner you can get to that the sooner all of the magic starts to happen, because you’re not suppressing and you’re not spending all of this time and this emotion trying to please other people.
So like I said before, this time right now, no matter how freaking hard it is, no matter what you are dealing with, maybe you’re dealing with all of it, there is beauty that will come out of this if we’re just able to tune in. Get curious. Why am I pissed off today? Why do I hurt so bad? What’s actually true? The three keys to doing this, know your why, check-in with your association, who’s in that circle, it’s time to tighten it up. And show up, show up.
And maybe sometimes it’s not enough for us to say, “I’m going to show up for me today.” Think about the person that you love more than anyone, for me, my kids. How am I going to show up? I’m Draper and Reece’s mom, how am I going to show up? How am I going to be the change?
So I hope for you guys, again, that this gives you a little bit of love, inspiration, I don’t know, knowing that we’re all in this together, we’re all navigating really tough times and more than anything we’re going to be okay. And making a decision that you’re going to be more than okay, we’re actually going to come out of this even stronger.
It’s so interesting too, my husband and I were having a conversation the other day and we were talking about politics of course. And when I talk to him a lot of times now I say, “Well, at least you love me.” Because I speak my truth and I have a lot of truth. And what’s also very interesting is that a lot of messages from so many of you and the people that I work with, and my clients, when I show up authentically or if they’re going through a hard time they’ll send me a message. And say, “Thank you for doing this.”
And knowing that when I have hard things that I have to work through and how I show up with them, inspires others to do the same. That’s the biggest reward. How you can lead people, how you make an impact in the world, that’s a positive change. We don’t do that by staying silent, by keeping everybody happy. And it doesn’t make us happy either.
But when my husband and I were talking the other day, we were talking about politics. And I said, “You know what, regardless, we have very diehard sides right now and we’re going to see that even more in the world, trying to create a war within the United States of these two different political parties and sides.” It’s one of the things that I dislike the most about politics, but here we are and I’m trying to tune into it, so that I can have a logical voice and an opinion that’s going to impact my life and my kids’ lives.
And with that I said, “You know what, what if, what if the election goes this direction?” Because I have a pretty strong view on it that I will start to share as we continue on, on this journey. But I have a strong view on it for certain reasons, and I said, “Regardless of who gets elected, I know that we will be okay.”
Whereas there’s a lot of people right now that are feeling that if this next election year goes one way or another, their life is over, it’s tragedy. How will we ever get through it? And I think the perspective that we have to have is no matter what, we’re going to figure it out. It’s just going to be different.
Have that mindset with everything in your life, don’t let external, be a part of the change but don’t let external circumstances that you can’t control, control your life. You’re the driver of your life and there’s always a way to figure it out, to find a way, that’s going to allow you to grow if you look at it in that way. What’s the good that can come out of this situation? What is the good happening here, even in the darkest hours, what’s the good?
Alright, well, I’ll leave you guys with that, thank you so much for tuning in, thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable and allowing me to take this first step into me showing up, because it’s not easy. And it’s something that I’m committed to moving forward and also taking incredible care of myself, and mental health, and energy, and associations, and understanding what my why is. So I hope you guys come along on this journey with me. I’d love to hear from you. So as you’re working through this, let me know what you’re working on and what’s coming up for you too, it’s incredibly powerful.
And I’m here; I am supporting you doing this work alongside of me and with me, and thank you again for tuning in. And for those of you that haven’t already known, if you weren’t part of our challenge this last week, where we worked on a lot of things together. We have our new round of Sustained opening up, which is our group coaching program, helping you create more success, more leads, more money, more of the things that you want in your life, and also a community of other high achieving women that are out there doing the work.
So if you’re interested in that you can check the link below on the details there, I’d love to have you in this group, it’s an intimate group where we are supporting each other on this bigger journey and also building our businesses during this time in our lives. So come along, check out the details there too and thanks for tuning in. I’ll see you all next week.
To team up with me to grow and scale your business to multiple six figures and seven figures while creating a life that you absolutely love. Head on over to LoveYourLivingOnline.com/application. I want to hear from you. I want to hear your goals, your dreams, your aspirations, and how I can help get you there. LoveYourLivingOnline.com/application. You can also check out this link in the show notes. I cannot wait to hear from you.