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The word Control.

This concept keeps coming up in my world. I think it may be because I need a little more work with control and perfectionism:)

We try to control so much in our lives. I believe that so much of this comes from fear, from a concept of being “not enough.” At least for me.
For example, if there is an area of my life in which I have been hurt in the past, I am triggered and my guard goes up. I automatically try to control the situation or outcome. We all have an ideal endgame, whether it is short term or long term.  It is how we see things, a “blueprint” as Tony Robbins refers to it. When our blueprints don’t match our current conditions, we lack fulfillment, happiness, joy, love, you name it… 

Thinking we can control how others act and feel will just set ourselves up for failure. It is not a healthy security blanket to be carrying through our day to day. The deeper we push those feelings inward and outwardly cover them up or eliminate them through control, the stronger they get. 

We have to learn how to surrender. To feel what we are feeling in a moment even if it is extremely uncomfortable. Allowing ourselves to not be perfect, allowing ourselves to feel whatever it is we need to feel without judgement, to fail without labeling ourselves failures, to be hurt without blaming others. This allows us to move on and grow with peace.

When we can sit in peace, surrender to what we are feeling in that moment and be patient, we realize the answers are all there. 

I have realized that the less I try to control an outcome, a person, a relationship or my business, the more I see results easily come. The questions to my answers are there. What I want to happen does happen without the constant stress of the outcome. It is crazy! 

Sometimes we need to let go. Surrender to what is happening and allow ourselves to be guided by higher power.

So… how do we change it? Here are a few simple tools that have helped me.


  1. Love yourself. Truly love and thank yourself everyday for the incredible person you are, for your heart that beats, for the small pleasures throughout the day. 
  2. Allow yourself to be scared, express emotion and be vulnerable.
  3. Ask for what you want. Communicate to your loved ones and team members.  You will never receive without asking, but they will listen. 
Love Your Living