The messages that come from this topic are so empowering, especially for women, and especially for female entrepreneurs. If you’re running your own business, you’ve carved a life out for yourself, so why the fuck would you ever choose to show up as anything but yourself, totally unapologetically?
Join me on the podcast this week and discover what it truly means to be authentically you without any reservation. I have stories from my own life and some of my favorite people on why showing up this way is the only way to show up, especially when you’re relying on yourself and no one else for your paycheck.
Want to have it all? Well, the best day to get started is TODAY. Welcome to Love Your Living, a podcast for ambitious women who want to take their life and business to a WHOLE new level of success. I’m Brooke Keeling, multiple six-figure business owner, passionate entrepreneur and your host.
Welcome to another episode of the Love Your Living podcast…
Hello everyone, and welcome to the Love Your Living podcast. I am Brooke Keeling and I’m so excited to be here with you, as always. Thank you so much for tuning in. Now, today, I’m talking about a topic that I think is incredibly powerful, especially for women and especially for women in business. And that is, how to be unapologetically you.
Now, if you’ve never heard this phrase or if you’ve never thought about it before, I challenge you to really take this topic in and apply it to your life, apply it to your business, apply it to your relationships, apply it to how you parent. Apply it to every area of your life.
Now, I’m not talking about just going out and be a raging bitch and not being a nice person. I’m talking about showing up as the real you. I love this topic so much and it’s been present in a lot of different areas, different content that I’ve read, different groups that I’m in, different conversations that I’ve had. And to give you some example around where this shows up in the day to day for so many, I have a really incredible friend that I think the world of.
She’s an incredible business owner as well, and one of her goals this year is to show up more unapologetically. And that is in the sense of letting go of what other people think of us, right? Letting go of how we feel, like we need to show up for certain people or need to act for certain people in order to be accepted or in order to receive love from them, right?
And as we journey on, especially as we grow, if you’re on a path of growth and if you’re making changes in your life and you’re changing circles of friends and your dynamics of your family relationships have changed because of what you’re focusing on in your world and growing your life and investing in things that are truly, truly important to you, you’re going to change.
And so, oftentimes, this is a little difficult to swallow. And so it’s come up in that arena, and it’s also a topic as simple as how you dress, how you wear your hair, how you act in certain settings. So, recently, I was asked this question; what do you think the balance is between showing up and dressing how you like so show up and dress, or dressing professionally for a professional setting?
Now, I can tell you that coming from someone like me, like, this is still showing up as you. Like, I’m sorry I’m not sorry, but this is what I like, this is who I am, this is how I dress. And if you don’t like it, then that’s okay, or it’s not a good fit. And this was my response back to this person, saying like, look, you’re a total boss and you are such an incredible hard worker and a beautiful woman inside and out. And the more that we show up for ourselves and how we want to show up, the better we’re going to connect and align with the people that are meant to be.
Like, I think culture is such an incredibly powerful topic in my world because I run businesses, and I don’t hire just based on performance anymore. I don’t hire just based off of what a resume looks like or how they’ve profiled out on my different job applications or Strength Finder or Kolbe Index or DiSC profiles. I don’t hire just on that anymore.
Honestly, what’s almost – well, probably is – more important is hiring on culture. And how you show up, how you want to dress every single day, I want you to show up real so that I can see the real you and you can shine in that light, but also know, like, it’s a good fit. Because if you’re trying to constantly fit a square peg into a round hole, you’re not going to be happy long-term and, likely, you’re not going to be a good fit.
And I’m not saying this is just dress. It’s everything. It’s showing up real in a job interview so that you can be really qualified based on who you are versus putting up this big façade and then having issues three months later. And so, I do take a lot of pride in showing up professionally, and this has been a topic that I’ve struggled with in my career. Not recently, but – well, I guess, like I look at my different business and I think, should I say what I’m thinking in my brick and mortar business versus, you know, helping other women show up as them? And that answer is absolutely yes.
And I remember asking one of my mentors this not that long ago and she basically said – and she was in a similar business as I am, probably 12 years ago now, and she said if I couldn’t show up, if I couldn’t talk the way that I talk, I would not be in a specific role. And I think that this is really telling.
Our world is changing and I do think there’s a place for – like of course, you don’t go out and talk to your clients maybe the way that you would rant to your husband. There’s a level of professionalism. But when we’re talking about dress, as long as you’re not showing up in a onesie or something like that, I feel like being able to be you is very, very important. And of course, there has to be a reason.
There’s this voice of reason – like, I can see the eye-rolls and you guys saying, “Yeah, what happens when you show up in nothing but a thong and fishnets, like Beyoncé shows up onstage to your desk job?” Like, that might not be appropriate, but as much as you possibly can, being you and showing up as you, I think absolutely that is a yes and we all need to do this more and more because it’s what brings life to our world, and it is truly what allows us to connect with other likeminded people.
Also, what comes with this, this whole concept, being able to embrace your life as it is today. This is my life. My gosh, I literally could give so many examples about this. Sometimes, we have negative thoughts around not having what we want, and I’ve also seen this, where people are either very resentful or they’re unhappy or depressed because their life isn’t exactly what they want it to be right now in the current moment. They have these big dreams and aspirations, or maybe you painted a picture of your life being a certain way and it’s not that certain way.
This causes incredible depression and self-sabotage and extreme unhappiness because what we are living is not what we want our life to be. But instead of being able to really embrace our lives for what it is today and see the beauty in what it is today while all of the incredible things unfold, that’s what we need to learn to do more often.
I’m all about setting big goals. I’m all about wanting to live a really, really big life. But I’ve been stuck in that place before where I’ve had these big massive dreams, and although I was achieving success and although I had an incredible life and home and family right in front of me, I was miserable because I didn’t have it all and I didn’t have it all now.
And Tony Robbins actually teaches on this, and it’s all about your blueprint for life. So you either need to change your blueprint, or you need to change your life. And although we can have these big goals, it’s not what it is now. So finding the love in what you have right now while you work towards those big goals is so important. And being able to say, like, yeah, this is great, this is my goal, but this is where I’m at right now. This is the start of this incredible journey that I’m so proud of.
Because you don’t just snap your fingers and have everything that you want tomorrow, and honestly, if that was how life worked, we would all be – I don’t even know how to put it into words. Can you even imagine a life where everybody just snapped their fingers and got what they wanted? There would be no gratitude. You would not appreciate what you have. You would not be able to maintain the wealth, the money, the things. It would just be an ugly, ugly world.
And so, just know that. Be grateful and happy for where we’re at while we’re working towards those bigger pictures. That’s what life is all about and that’s what makes this incredible journey that we’re on so much fun, because we always have something to work for. If we never had anything more to work for, life would be so boring.
I think Beyoncé has a quote, something like that. But it’s so true. It’s easy to get caught up in the hard days. It’s easy to get caught up in the lack of. It’s easy to get caught up. I remember the days when I lived in a little shitty-ass apartment that was disgusting. The previous tenants smoked before we were there. And if you’ve ever lived in an apartment that’s ever been smoked in, it always just has a stench to it.
It was my first apartment with my now husband and I remember not having money to do anything. We both worked our nine to five jobs, our first jobs out of college. We didn’t have a whole lot of money. He was extremely frugal on top of it. So if I was like, “hey let’s go out to dinner…” he’d be like, “No, we don’t have the money,” which we truly didn’t.
But I remember those days and I remember the joys of those days being we got to get a big take and bake pizza from Walmart. We would have a movie and eat a pizza at home, and that was part of what our life was. And I look back at those days and I think, wow that was our life then. And look how far we’ve come. That’s what gives us so much appreciation.
And even now when I look at my life, you know, the first condo that I bought was like 800 square feet. It was an itty-bitty little condo, but I was so proud of it because I did it all by myself. I bought it all by myself. It was a huge deal. I got to pick out all of the finishes. It was new on the inside. It was so great.
And I remember those days so vividly too. And then our first home together, and now where we’re at today, each of these phases of life, if you can’t find appreciation for them, you will be miserable. And if you think, well I’ll be happy when I have the big house, I’ll be happy when I have the fancy car that I want, I’ll be happy when – you will not. You have to find appreciation in what you have today while you work towards those bigger things.
And there’s so much around us to work towards, and also just appreciate in our everyday life right now. And also, I think when we’re on this journey of doing something more or stepping into a new role or wanting to be seen a certain way, we’re always looking for outside validation or approval. And so, we do things or we show up certain ways to, again, be accepted by other people, or we act out of character or outside of our values, or we start buying things and stuff to be perceived a certain way. And that’s not true to you either.
So watch out for some of those things when you’re on this journey. And just get grounded with yourself and understand that whomever it is that you are and whatever it is that you value, that’s what you need to focus on. It doesn’t matter what other people think about us. It truly doesn’t. We need to let go of these thoughts.
So, embracing your life as it is today, showing up unapologetically for you, for you only. It doesn’t matter what other people think. They’re not sleeping in your bed, they’re not paying for your bills, they’re not part of your life. Their opinion does not matter, okay. Also, accepting yourself from the inside out, with all of the quirks and everything, oftentimes we push these quirks down, or we think, I’m too much or I need to tone it down because I’m too sexy. I hope all of you think that, by the way. I truly hope that everybody on this podcast is thinking, “I’m too sexy.” You should wake up every day thinking, “I’m too sexy.” The catwalk song – but anyways, we don’t actually want to think that you’re too sexy.
You should be able to show up as you want to show up. And there’s been so much recently in the news around the future is female and the feminist power trip that we’re going through right now, which I don’t always agree with, however, there are certain things that I do believe in and that’s equality and it’s being able to be sexy as a woman but not be looked at as a slut or your sex appeal has a price tag on it or you’re showing up for sex. That’s not true at all.
There was an incredible article that I read recently, and I think it was – oh gosh, I don’t know the celebrity. She’s a really known celebrity. And basically, she was talking about a quote that someone had put a picture of her in a magazine when she was like 19 years old and she was wearing, like, a sexy swimsuit. And they were saying how she was just asking for, you know, you name it, all of the tabloids and whatever and how we judge other women. And she’s like, the reality of me in this photo at 19 years old being a virgin wanting nothing to do with anything that they’re talking about, how we have to show up is like a direct reflection a lot of times. And the world that we live in is that you can’t show up being sexy without asking for you name it.
And so anyways, I digress. But accepting yourself from the inside out with all of the quirks and everything that you are is so important because, here’s why – and I talk to people every single day about this, is so many times, our weaknesses, the quirks, those things that we’ve been judged on in the past, those are the things that are going to make you who you are, like people in business that are looking for something to stand out or make them different. Those are the things.
Those are the things that are going to allow you to connect with other people just like you that have the same quirks, that thrive off of those quirks, that have the same beliefs and values that will fill your life up with incredible connection. So don’t push those qualities and those quirks down. Let them shine. Fly your freak flag. I have seen that. That’s like in now.
I have a tarot reader that I love and in one of her recent newsletters, she put that, like fly your freak flag. Like, that’s the new in right now. So whatever it is, think about that. Think about growing up. I want you to go all the way back to your childhood because this is oftentimes where we start to really like push down these thoughts and the feelings and needing to act a certain way. You will start to have very vivid stories, if you’re open to them coming up, within your childhood of times like this that will show you some of these things that you need to let go of and release and be able to really just shine in that light and show up as you, regardless of how you were raised, what your parents may have said, what your teachers may have said, regardless of all of that.
One of the other things that I think is incredible about showing up as us, and especially within, like, the new – I have an incredible tribe right now. I have incredible women in my life. Gosh, I’m grateful for that. Like, I am beyond grateful. In my past, I have almost felt resentment, or I have felt bad about wanting more, about having what I have in my life and still wanting more.
And I thought that something was wrong with me because I like to work and I like business and I want an exceptional life. And that exceptional life is defined by my own terms. And for so long, I thought, maybe I need help. Maybe I’m just not ever going to be satisfied. That’s a really bad thing. I should just be happy. I should want to have freedom every single evening and every weekend off and all of these things, right? And that’s just not me.
But now, basically, I’ve released that. I’ve leaned into it. I’ve leaned into the feelings of this is what I truly want. I’ve tried these other things. I’ve tried putting boundaries on my business, which I think boundaries are really incredible for your business, by the way, however, this perfect balance, no one can tell you the perfect balance. You need to figure this out for yourself.
And for me, I just had an incredible weekend. That weekend was incredible because I was able to take some time to myself and do some incredible creative work in my business. And that made me really, really happy, versus two years ago, I would say, nope, no work on the weekends. You can’t work on the weekends.
But that’s what makes me happy. Setting big goals, sharing them with others for accountability, connecting with other likeminded women that have the same, quote en quote, flaws. It’s not a flaw. It’s called entrepreneurship. That’s truly what it’s called. It’s called entrepreneurship.
Now, I am part of a lot of different groups on Facebook and on social media and I don’t want to start getting off on a rant because I think everybody needs to find their own tribe, and I don’t know how I got into these groups in the first place, but oh my gosh, people. Some of the conversations, I just can’t even wrap my head around. And honestly, I don’t know if it’s just me or what.
Again, it’s not my tribe and everybody needs to have their tribes, but one of the comments in one of the posts not that long ago was someone polling the audience about whether or not they had Presidents’ Day off and they were all upset about it because they had a full week and other people had it off. But they still had off on Thursday and Friday, so they wanted an extra short week.
I’ve seen the same thing – oh my gosh, teachers, I have so much respect. I truly do. But we’ve had massive snow days in Wisconsin this year. And I get that you have to make up time and, you know, I get it, but I don’t. Like, six days, you’ve got to make up some time or it’s unpaid time. I guess I just don’t quite understand it, but again, that’s not my world.
I’m an entrepreneur, so if I want money, I need to go and make it. And I just don’t understand some of these topics. But for real, like, not having Presidents’ Day off, I’m blown away by this. I just can’t even comprehend what some of these conversations are. So, not everyone is an entrepreneur and we can’t judge other people, and I try my hardest not to judge other people either.
But you can’t say, like, I want the world – I want a million dollars but I don’t want to work on Presidents’ Day. I’m sorry, but it’s not going to happen. So not everyone is meant to be an entrepreneur. That’s fine. But what makes an entrepreneur is really being able to hustle your ass of when you need to hustle your ass off, doing the work when you need to do the work, setting big goals, being relentless about finding them. And also, I’m not saying not take care of yourself or your emotions, or taking time off. That’s also a big part of your mental health and your mindset and your physical health, all of that, it’s important.
Having accountability, being able to connect with your own tribe, being able to truly know that whatever you want in your life, that is okay. You don’t need someone else to tell you that it’s okay. I just had a call recently with a client and basically that is what she said.
She said, “I’m waiting, I throw all these ideas out and I’m waiting for my family to tell me it’s okay, that that’s a great idea.” You are going to be waiting around forever. We have to believe in ourselves first and we have to do what we want, what sets our heart on fire. And sometimes you don’t know that at first.
Try things. Try it out. It doesn’t work, who cares, try something else, right? Also, what’s going to come up when you are on this journey of showing up as you unapologetically, which I am on this journey myself this year, you guys, I am on it. I have my mastermind girls on it. We are releasing what is no longer serving.
One of my big tasks this year from my reader is that I need to release. It is a year of releasing for me. Release what is no longer serving me, release relationships that are no longer serving me, release mindset, money blocks, everything. Release what is no longer working for you. And sometimes, that’s going to be scary. And so you’re going to have to get out of your comfort zone.
You’re going to have to do the things that scare you. You’re going to have to invest in yourself. You’re going to have to purely and truly believe, just believe. Believe in who you are and believe in what you want in your life. No one else is going to believe in you until you believe in you. And you need to show up for yourself.
It doesn’t matter what other people think. It truly does not matter. So doing the things that scare us, that’s one of the biggest – I think that’s one of the biggest things, as a business owner, as an entrepreneur, as anybody that has big goals, because you will absolutely have to do the scary things. You’re going to have to make the phone calls that you don’t want to have to make. You’re going to have to go into a lot of firsts, learning new things, putting yourself out there.
You’re going to have to fail, which so many of us are so scared of failure. And we’re truly not scared of the fall itself. We’re scared of the concept of falling. The fall doesn’t hurt. You get right back up, you try again, right? It’s like, if you have a toddler and they’re learning to walk and they fall down. You don’t say, you suck, don’t ever walk ever again.
It’s part of life. This is how we learn. And I’ve said this many, many times before, it’s something that I take with me every single day almost now. It’s been really, really powerful for me and it’s something that came to me on a walk a couple of years ago when I was going through a really hard time in my business and in my life. And I had just checked out.
It was midday. I took a walk with my dogs and I thought to myself – I got like one block away from my house and I said, wow, what if my daughter was going through what I’m going through right now? What would I say to her? And it completely changed my mindset. It completely changed the language and the conversation that I was having with myself.
So when you’re having a big scary moment, when you’re having to just go for it and put yourself out there and you’re really scared, just know that that’s part of the process and we’re all scared. We all have to start somewhere. You’ll get through it. You’ll learn the new task, the new trait, and then guess what, there’s going to be the next biggest scary thing. That doesn’t ever go away, especially if you’re committed to growing.
You’re always going to have something more that scares you, something bigger that scares you. We have to learn to embrace that too, and also talk to ourselves kinder when we’re going through something like that. So, listen to the conversations that you have with yourself when you’re going through something really scary, or maybe a really hard time in your business or it’s been a really bad week or everything just seems to be blowing up no matter what you’re trying to do.
Talk to yourself as you would talk to the person. If you don’t have kids or if you don’t like your kids, think about someone that you love so, so much and think about talking to them the way you’re talking to yourself. And I promise you, you’ll find some language that you need to tweak.
Now, the last thing that I want to talk to you on this topic of being unapologetically you, which you can apply to every area of your life, how you wear your hair, how you dress, how you show up each day, how you respond to things that maybe you don’t want to do, what you’re committing to, what you’re not committing to, all of these things.
I want you to just stop and breathe. Just breathe. If you’ve been around me for a while, you’ve more than likely heard of my yoga spiritual guru slash guide slash – I mean, I love her so much. Her name is Sookie and she’s changed my life. I started going to her yoga classes probably about five years ago now.
And she teaches a practice. She teaches for life. And it’s an incredible practice that I am so grateful that I have in my life. And your mind and body – what I didn’t know, I was always in the hustle, I was always in the grind. I was just like, what’s next, what’s next? I never took care of myself. I would go all day without eating. I would go like all day with only drinking coffee. Like, it’s three o’clock, I should just have more coffee, and not even like a sip of water.
That was my life for years, and then I got into yoga. And it was really tough at first because I could barely even get myself there. I could barely even commit to taking that much time away. I thought I was going to have a panic attack that I was away for an hour. What was going on in my emails, what was burning up in flames?
Oh my gosh, if this sounds like you right now, I want you to find a meditation, start small. If you want to, find a yoga class. You can go online and find any of this stuff. Tony Robbins has an incredible one. It’s like a 10-minute meditation exercise that you can do, and it’s called priming. So if you want to look that one up, you can. But it’s all about disrupting the pattern that’s going on within your neurological system.
So, within everything that’s going on in your mind, oftentimes, we forget to breathe. In yoga, it’s a practice on breath and bringing us back to reality, back to a grounded space in our world, because everything, all of this energy that we carry with us, if you are someone that has high anxiety and you’re constantly worrying about what’s happening and nothing is ever going right and everything is just busy and so much work and oh my gosh, I’ve been there, you guys. And it’s miserable and it doesn’t need to be there.
You don’t have to be there. And if you’re thinking, I need to hustle 24/7 and I need to do the work – like, I’m all about the hustle. I’m all about being a boss. But I’m also all about taking exceptional care of yourself. And I learned this the hard way. I was making probably an eighth of what I’m making today and how I treat myself, my self-care routines, my workout routines, if I miss a couple of days of working out, I’m a different human being.
So I’m telling you, from a place of I have been there and I want to tell you that there’s always time for more of what you need and want in your life. And if you think that, I’m too busy or I don’t have the time or whatever, we all have the same amount of time in one day. I run three businesses, my husband runs a business, I have a two-year-old, I have three dogs, I have a nanny, I have employees, and I still manage to do a workout every single day.
I still manage to – sometimes I’m not as great about reading, or sometimes, I just want to tell you, like, we’re not always perfect. So you might hear me saying this and think, oh my gosh, well I just don’t know how you stick with it. I have bad weeks, you guys. I have weeks where I have to say, guess what, I need to get back on the wagon, like check myself before I wreck myself. But the key is, I realize it so much quicker now.
And I truly do know that taking care of myself, taking exceptional care of myself, having routines that make me feel good, getting adequate sleep, feeding my mind with things that are helping me grow, surrounding myself with people that I love, that fill me up versus deplete me and deplete my energy, saying no to a lot of things, and saying yes to what I need in my life for me, it’s life-changing. It’s life-changing.
So start baby-step, and if you don’t quite know how to start, reach out to someone. Reach out to me. Check us out on social media. There’s a lot of different things that we are sharing every single day that can help you get there. But if you’re in a place of, I don’t have time for that or that must be so nice to have all of this time to work out for yourself, or I’m focused on making money – I got it, and I’ve been there.
And I’m telling you, I make probably 10 times as much as I made when I was in that place just grinding it out, working 24/7, not taking care of myself, not eating, not drinking water, all of those things. So, life can be so incredible for you. You just have to be able to build that in and don’t forget that element.
So, stop and breathe. Find some meditations. If you’re not into that, maybe you can do yoga. You can find anything online. I’m not saying you have to go buy a big membership or, you know, commit to something extravagant. Just look online. And again, the Tony Robbins priming exercise, I absolutely love that one. And I still go back to that one often when I need a little bit of extra love in my own life.
It’s about 10 minutes. If you can’t have 10 minutes out of your morning to start your day off right, you need to do it. Like, it’s not even an option. If you’re saying, I don’t have the time, you need to just do it. So check that one out as well.
But I am all about it. I’m here for you. And I want to just end with one thing; if you don’t have people that support you in your life, if you don’t have the people in your life that are there for you as you and you feel like you always have to put up this façade or you have fake relationships or fake friendships, get rid of that shit, you guys.
For me, personally, I feel like it’s better to have no friends than to have friends that you constantly have to be someone else in order to feel good about yourself. And I promise, it’s like Marie Kondo – I keep saying this even though I don’t really love her show, or a lot of different concepts – clear away what’s not serving you anymore. Because when you start at least acknowledging and clearing away what’s no longer serving you, you will be amazed at what starts to enter your life.
But if you don’t have that right now, be conscious of it and start clearing it unapologetically. Clear it, clear, it, clear it. This is your life. We only have one life. And what has really, really sunk in on this whole journey of creating whatever it is I want and saying more is more, like, I love more, I love making money, I love creating opportunities in business. I want to do me on my terms, is knowing that I am rewriting the story of my family.
I am creating opportunities that never have ever been present in my family’s life before. What I’m creating right now is going to directly affect my daughter, going to directly affect my grandchildren. I’m rewriting my legacy right now. That’s powerful. That is incredibly powerful for me.
And if you are on that same path and that journey, just know that that’s a really big job. That’s a huge job. And so that self-care piece, that self-love is massive because you’re going to get a lot of haters. You’re going to get a lot of stress along the way. You’re going to endure a lot as you go through this journey, and we have to take care of ourselves and we have to take care of each other.
And so, knowing that and also being able to surround yourself with people that do believe in you, even if it’s one or two, you don’t have to have 20 people around you. My mastermind group is so incredible because I feel like – and a lot of the groups that I’ve been in, when you can find people that you can just show up as you and you know that they have your back no matter what, those are the types of relationships that you need in your life. And if you don’t have them, clear what you have currently that’s no longer serving you and just make space for the new stuff to come, because I promise it will present itself in the most mysterious ways. It’s just magical when you’re open to it.
So I hope that you do you this year, unapologetically – make that your word – show up for you and just know that you’re really going to take your life to the next level when you’re committed to doing this, even when it’s scary, even when it’s hard. So I hope that you guys enjoyed today’s topic. I hope that you can resonate with it and take some things with you into your own every day and show up more as you and love yourself more.
So, as always, thank you so much for tuning in. and, you guys, I’ve asked you this and asked you this, and I’m going to keep asking for a little while. So, we have some incredible guests, podcast stars, that are coming on the show that I’m so excited for. I’ve had incredible conversations with some really powerful women that have done it in their own lives and they have incredible feedback.
And so, my goal is to reach as many people as I possibly can. If you haven’t already given is a five-star review and shared the podcast with people that you know in your life, please do so. I will forever be grateful to you so that more people can find the show and hear their messages as well. So, I hope you all have an incredible week and we will see you next week.
Thanks for showing up and listening to this week’s episode of the Love Your Living podcast. If you’re ready to create a business and life you love or simply take your already-pretty incredible life to the next level, head on over to loveyourlivingonline.com or simply check out the link in this week’s episode of show notes to instantly download my 6-Figure & Beyond Business Blueprint. You’re going to absolutely love it.