Work hard, play hard.
Over the past few years I have been relentless on building my business & personal growth. I focused all my attention on what’s next, what’s next, what’s next… I am a huge believer in setting big goals and following your dreams BUT, at some point, I lost my dreams. If you are feeling unsettled, you’re not alone.
There will always be hurdles in your life, but I have slowly taught myself to…
- Slow down!
- Say YES to obligations that bring me outside of my comfort zone
- Say NO to obligations that will make me unhappy in the moment
You have probably heard the age-old advice of taking time between relationships, to figure out what it is you really want and learn how to create a solid foundation on your own. This also applies to business! When I am constantly on the grind, I lose track of my end goal. Sometimes I even lose faith in it! Allowing yourself to take a step back, even just for a few hours when you feel stuck, will bring you the clarity you need. I never allowed myself to do this. One unproductive minute and the guilt of not doing everything I possibly can would wash over me. I was no longer going to be competitive in the market, make the sale, make more money.
I know now that I was chasing the paper. Don’t get me wrong…I like paper. I am not afraid to admit that I LOVE money. Money allows you to give back, take your family on vacation, travel, enjoy the finer things. The problem was, I wasn’t doing any of that. I was in the constant grind, and that is not fulfillment, not for me. Let’s examine the facts here…
What can money buy?
- A new car
- The latest technology
- A designer handbag
- New shoes
- Daily lattes
What can’t money buy?
But according to SCIENCE, what is it that actually makes people happy? Surprise surprise, it’s the things that can’t be bought – relationships, mindfulness, fun, time and kindness. So it’s important to work hard at being a great friend, neighbor, mother and leader – not just at being a great employee. Of course money is crucial, and working hard is something you have to maintain. However, the important thing is to work hard in the job you love, to give you the means to spend time with the people you love, doing the things you love.
What can you buy that will make you happy?
- A drink during happy hour to reconnect with co-workers or old friends
- A housekeeper so you spend less time tidying up and more time with your family
- Gifts for loved ones to show your appreciation
- A vacation to reconnect with others and experience the world
- Classes to teach you a new skill, improve a skill, or get you the degree and dream job
Now, although I love money, here’s the honest truth: I would be perfectly happy with nothing but my family. I am beyond grateful to be able to say that and truly mean it.
Regardless, I had to take action to find my happy again. Start living again. I recently had an opportunity to celebrate one of my closest friends bachelorette parties. Initially I was like, hell no – I can’t go. I would miss a day of work (A DAY!), there is so much to do around the house, I can’t leave the baby, I could invest this money into the business. And then I took a moment to listen to myself. What the SHIT??? I work so hard – for what? It took me 3 weeks to decide and commit, which is ridiculous, but I did it. Which leads me to today’s question – why is it so hard for us to do something for ourselves? This ended up being so much more than a quick trip. It was AMAZING. I let my hair down, I drank way too much champagne (sorry, not sorry), I LAUGHED with my girlfriends, danced, had coffee (followed by bloody Mary’s of course) by the pool, talked life with an amazing friend & mom who had the same struggles, 2AM pool plunges, met new friends. I gained so much from this trip by saying YES. It was so powerful. I came home feeling refreshed, happy, and excited to see my loves. As women, we need our girls. I have never felt this more than now, being a mom and juggling life, business, family, ourselves.
If you struggle with balance, fulfillment and being too afraid to wander beyond the convenience of your comfort zone, you need to surround yourself with other Boss Moms and people that have similar goals. Have fun, say yes! You grow so much from these experiences. You learn to #loveyourliving on every level, in every way.
It took me a long time to get from being overworked and overwhelmed, to understanding how I can make my life more fulfilling. I want to give you a head start. To start, here are some key questions you should ask yourself:
- What have you said NO to recently when you probably should have said YES?
- What was your reason for saying NO?
- What will it take for you to be able to say YES? What changes need to be made?
P.S. While I was away my husband and daughter bonded, had an incredible daddy- daughter weekend and survived without me!